First Draft Horoscopes!


Hey Libra . . .

Adventure is always one of your main priorities, and when you add adult beverages, pain meds and gun toting romantic involvements to the mix, well . . let’s just say it’s only a matter of time before your ass lands on one of those NBC true story crime shows. Posthumously. Today, you might have your sights set on an adventure you’ve never tried before. Like maybe, staying home and reading a book. Or going to bed early. Or not involving yourself with someone who’s been incarcerated. Naaaaahhhhh!!!!

A normal person might find their bucket list moment on the side of a mountain, whereas you simply aim to land in the bucket. And really, what fun is traveling when you can engage in all manner of dangerous trysts in your own personal jungle story. Going around the world? Pffft! You did that the other night. Visiting the South Pacific? That too. Your social life would make Bukowski shudder.

Your one hundred and one different moods will set the tone, after which you’ll most likely burn down the house. Just remember not to touch that bail money savings account you started after the last episode, because you’re gonna need it seeing as how you’re down to three friends. And no, the arresting officer doesn’t count.

Remember that you only live once, because you’re already lived eight times. And you know what happens on the ninth hole, asshat.

84 thoughts on “First Draft Horoscopes!

  1. B,

    You said you’d not go easy on your own sign…

    And honestly, this is just a recap of your life, ain’t it? 😉

    Ya might wanna try thos li’l adventures described. Yanno, Read a book, go to bed early – well 3 am IS early, no? ‘Specially when it’s spent in such fabulous company… Ahem.

    As always, a fun read and I can think of more ‘n one Libra this applies to!

    Great choice of music, to boot


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yo soy Libra tambien. BIen escrito. Solo deseo tener esa vida tan loca. Tal vez este despues de mis cumpleanos tendre cuentos con suficiente valor de Ud. O ti. Nunca se cual palabra usar. Bueno, por que espanol? Por que no? Sombrero de culo, ha ha ha! Bien chistoso, amigo.

    Liked by 1 person

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