Heroes Of The Week! (800lb Gorilla Edition)


This week’s heroes is going in a slightly different direction. Don’t blame me, it was corporate’s idea. They’re pushing for expanded lines in lieu of a compromised inventory of worthwhile news. And I can’t says I blame their shell game, seeing as how Congress has been using the model to great success forever.

So this week, without the empirical . . Imma go satirical. But only with the zeros, since the heroes in my list are too good to mess with. And no . .  Trump ain’t invited, because as we are all aware, when you add satire to the satirical, you get insanity. And the world ain’t need more crazy.

And now the news . . .

Nathaniel Collier is honing his skills as a future politician by selling beer for seventy times the ticket price. The bogus beer man charged two fans $724 dollars for a couple pints at Hard Rock Stadium last Sunday during the Dolphins scheduled loss against the Chargers. Collier was arrested on charges of grand theft, using a skimming device and attending a Dolphins game. The fan took the incident in stride, “It was still a bargain compared to what I paid for the tickets,”.

When I write these posts up, I’m always on the lookout for something I’ve never felt before. And Chloe Dorsey paid me in full with her superwoman exploits at a state park. The Georgia woman was out for a run when she spotted a deer that was stuck in a metal fence. So she bent the bars to release it . . because of course she can! After running a few hundred feet, the deer got stuck in another fence. And Imma include the video, because it speaks to the fight we need to keep on pushing and the love that fuels the try.

Last Saturday, an unidentified woman climbed over a safety barrier at the African lion exhibit inside the Bronx Zoo and began taunting one of the lions. In the video, the unidentified woman appears totally ignorant as to the job description of the king of the jungle. “I love Lion King as much as the next guy, but people have to realize it’s not real life, for fuck sake!” Said the perplexed lion. “I’ve seen a lot of crazy shit since I moved to New York, but that takes the cake,”

The St. Louis Blues sure know how to close. First they delivered up the franchise’s first Stanley Cup last June, and this past Monday they moved the ice onto Laila Anderson’s ring finger. The club made their super-fan a special part of their title run last spring as she battled HLH, a rare auto-immune disease. And so the victors spoiled their special lady with a 10.6 carat championship ring as a way of saying thanks. This Laila really brought the guys to their knees.

Atlantic City Mayor Frank Gilliam Jr. has resigned after pleading guilty to stealing more than $87,000 from a youth basketball program he co-opted . . co-founded. U.S. Attorney Craig Carpenito says Gilliam used donations made to AC Starz to fund a lavish lifestyle that included, “designer clothing, expensive trips and vacations,”. Gilliam’s lawyer insisted that his client never attended an NBA game with the funds, saying “he felt that would be ironically reprehensible,”. New Jersey governor Phil Murphy was said to be ‘shocked’ by the story, as it appears he was unaware Atlantic City had a mayor.

In September 2018, Amber Guyger shot Botham Jean dead when she mistook him for an intruder. Guyger had entered the wrong apartment, after which the Dallas police officer used deadly force on the twenty six year old accountant who was born in St Lucia and worked for PricewaterhouseCoopers.

On Wednesday, Guyger was sentenced to ten years in prison for Jean’s murder; a sentence the victim’s mother found difficult to accept, saying that her son’s life “was worth more than ten years,” The sentiments were completely understandable, coming from a mother who had lost her pride and joy in such a senseless way.

Eighteen year old Brandt Jean’s response was extraordinarily different, and it provided both a poignant final chapter to a tragic story as well as questions as to how much time Guyger might serve in prison.

When delivering his impact statement to the court on Wednesday, the brother of Botham Jean chose forgiveness.

“I wasn’t going to ever say this in front of my family or anyone, but I don’t even want you to go to jail,’’ said Brandt Jean, who, at 18, is 10 years younger than Botham would have been now. “I want the best for you.’’

He then asked the judge for permission to approach Guyger, after which the two engaged in a prolonged embrace. The gesture brought sobs from those in attendance and provided the kind of lesson you just don’t see much of in this world. Here was an eighteen year old kid who didn’t lash out in anger, who didn’t embark on a vitriolic rant directed at the individual who murdered his older brother. Instead he chose what has become the path of most resistance in these modern times: Compassion. And if it can happen inside this most extraordinarily tragic circumstance, it makes you wonder.

What’s the world’s excuse for not trying?








32 thoughts on “Heroes Of The Week! (800lb Gorilla Edition)

  1. Forgiveness. Now there’s a concept. Reminds me of when that Amish man went nuts killing all those people along with himself, and rather than scorn the wife, they brought her into the fold to grieve with the rest of the community. It was big.

    Murder, punishment, impeachment? Why does that seem to first with the first two?

    Liked by 2 people

    • I remember having a next door neighbor who was Amish. Mary was a spinster who married late in life, but she had some stories.

      I’ll never forget the conversation I had with her after the Nickel Mines shootings. She struggled with the matter of forgiveness. Mightily. It still makes me cry when I think about it. The whole thing.

      Liked by 1 person

        • I love using that word. There are certain words I’ll read in a classic and it’ll piss me off that they no longer come around the way they used to. And we replace them with hashtags? Bad trade, horrible trade.

          The good stories this week all got me, but it’s interesting how the video of that woman saving the deer really hit me in a good place. Dale had mentioned that when the video begins, it feels like one of those “look at me” vids that people post to social media but then she thought, maybe this woman knew that nobody would believe her unless she had proof. And yes to that, but also this.

          Whether she was taking the video to post it to social media or because she wanted proof in case her friends didn’t believe her, it was the genuine angst that she was exhibiting that got to me. Whatever the motive HAD been became secondary to helping that deer. She had all the emotions of a mother- frustration, anger, confusion, love, compassion. If you want to know what it feels like to be human, that video will work.

          I know, I riffed here but I really appreciate it when you guys share your thoughts on this stuff. I find it hard to condense my own thoughts sometimes.


  2. B,

    Gotta go with corporate sometimes. And yeah, we don’t need no more sanity than we already gots!

    That Collier has got balls the size of – well – the Hard Rock Stadium! Dolphins scheduled loss… smh…

    Yanno, the fact that Chloe filmed herself saving that silly deer almost makes me want to say… yeah, yeah, sure, sure, you’re a hero alright and here’s the video to prove it. And then I think to myself, if she tries to tell her friends this story, they won’t believe her! So good on her for doing it! And besides that cynical moment I had (I know, shocker) kudos to her for helping the poor beastie.

    Only because the lion would have been put down if he had acted on his instincts am I glad she didn’t get mauled. What a friggen dumbass. You can see in the King’s face his confusion, mixed with desire, mixed with stupefaction…

    Lawzy, B! You made me cry with that Blues video! What a beautiful thing for them to do.

    Shocked, eh? What a guy Gilliam Jr. is. Of course it would have been hypocritical not to mention ironic to actually attend the games of the kids he was usurping money from…

    Yet another reason to NOT have guns at the ready. Mind you, if Jean had been a true intruder with malicious intent, we would be saying once more how it is a necessity to have a damn gun in the house in the first place. And yes, I reread your entry to realise she is a police officer – an even better reason to stop and ask questions, instead of shooting first. She had the advantage of being able to point before shoot. I’m sorry. I have so much trouble with this issue.

    I have to say that 18-year old Brandt Jean is what gives me hope. By offering forgiveness, he is also removing hate from his own soul. Hate that would have grown and become bitter and who knows what type of man he would have grown into.

    What excuse indeed?

    Excellent weekly news, as per, B! Plus we got a two-fer in music! 😉


    Liked by 1 person

    • Q,

      I ain’t the corporate type, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do . . .

      Really, those beer prices aren’t that far off beer prices at the new Yankee Stadium.

      I thought the same thing initially. But she won me over with how she was talking to the deer. God I loved how she was giving the deer shit, but how she really NEEDED to help her.

      Absolutely. I am totally pissed at that woman for doing what she did. Even if she was high on something. I think when they find her, she should be sentenced to ten years of picking up elephant shit.

      Talk about great sports! Those St Louis Blues redefine what a champion looks like.

      That there was the satire ala 800lbgorilla.

      There is no excuse for what she did, no. My whole thing is, what that brother was able to do in response. Wow.

      An impromptu two-fer is still a two-fer!


      Liked by 1 person

      • No, I don’t see you as that at all. Must be a serious case if you feel y’all gots to 😉

        Maybe just a “tad”!

        I agree. It was a good thing she did tape it. And I really don’t think she did it for “ratings” sakes either! Giving that deer shit… Too funny. But a lovely thing to do.

        The narcissism is through the roof. I agree. That would be the perfect sentence!

        They really did. Beautiful.

        I likey. The satire, that is.

        None. I can’t abide by jittery trigger-finger and yes, the brother was definitely the bigger man in this whole scenario.

        That it is. And lucky us!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Corporate was threatening to shut down the WP division if we didn’t go along with this inane idea to add an 800lbgorilla satirical bent to the proceedings. There was no talking them out of it.

          The new Yankee Stadium will set you back so much green that you might decide to stop following the team as a result.

          There is another video where she is telling the deer that she won’t always be there to save her, that she has to learn to jump.

          Let’s suggest it when they find her.

          Go Blues! (Until they play the ‘Hawks or Habs).

          I might throw some in from time to time for shits and giggles.

          That kid is a good human being and we need more of him. Lots more of him.

          That was so funny when you told me and then I thought about it and went . . Oh yeah!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!

            Eesh. I hate to tell ya but it’s the same even for the Habs games – and we ain’t won nuthin since. Well, you know.

            No way. That is too cute. I was laughing when she was telling him (her) that he (she) had to learn to jump the damn fence!

            They haven’t found the stupid broad?

            Right. We can root for them when they don’t play against our teams.

            You do that. I am sure I am not alone who will appreciate.

            He is. We do. LOTS more.

            LOL! Hey, that’s what friends are for, yanno?

            Liked by 1 person

          • I tell myself that every morning when I’m shaving, reluctantly. Which is why I’m currently on strike.

            1993, when they defeated Gretzky’s LA Kings, coached by Barry Melrose.

            I absolutely loved that. She was SO stressed when she couldn’t get the second fence.

            Which is what I said! What in the fuck is security doing at the Bronx Zoo? It’s like that Disney World shit all over again! I want to head up security at the Bronx Zoo. Stat!

            Habs and Hawks bebe!

            Good to know, 😉

            I’d vote for him, like right now. Run for anything kid!

            It sho is . .

            Liked by 1 person

          • So I’ve notice… No worries, it doesn’t take anything away from your charms…

            You had to go there. Schmuck.

            She was. I was forcing with her!

            Yeah. Honest to Christ. I just don’t understand!

            Ya baby!

            I am not the only one who will be into it.

            With good reason!

            It is…


  3. I saw the tape of that woman in the zoo and all I have to say is she jeopardized the life of the lion and he is worth caring about. As for her? Can you spell Narcissist? Saw the Brandt Jean tape of forgiveness. Couldn’t help but admire the young man. I hope that cop stays on her knees for a year. Good for the blues.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m telling you Boss, when they find her they have to sentence her to ten years of picking up elephant shit.

      That Brandt kid just made me stop in my tracks when I saw that the other day.

      The Blues truly are the champions, on and off the ice.

      Thanks Boss.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The Lalia story in St. Louis is awesome. They even flew her to Boston for game 7! I think she even got on the ice during the post-game celebration!

    Damn on the lady freeing the deer. Damn on the mayor for taking from youth sports. He should run for higher office! The Bronx lady had to get a beating from the stupid stick!

    Cheers to your Yankees bombing away in Game 1. Hot damn, Bearcats get a big win! HUGE!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • She sure did! They made her a part of their team when she was done going through treatments.

      I love the deer lady! She did good!

      The Mayor of Atlantic City . . at that! And yes, he should because he’d be leading right about now.

      I don’t think they’ve found the Bronx lady yet!

      Yankees win! Thaaaaa Yankees win! Game 1. Gracias Cincy, 🙂 And congrats on those Bearcats!


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