The Annoyances Post! (My Therapist Is On Vacation Edition)

The Rundown has been preempted so that I can bring you an unfiltered, unfitted and unfettered mess of thoughts that have been squatting in my cerebrum. I was afraid this might happen if I ran out of Cinderella 99, so I’ll chalk this unexpected voyage up to living and learning. You can catch this week’s episode of The Rundown on Sunday.

Until then, here’s something less thought provoking . . .

  • Mario Lopez seems like a very nice person, but I can’t take him seriously when he uses words like “Cute”, “OMG” and “Yay!” in any sentence, much less the same fucking one. Listen, I ain’t down with the bullshit Hemingway methodology of machismo, but . . . if you got any testosterone in the tank, you can’t be riffing like Doc McStuffins.
  • They had to make another Joe Millionaire? Really? You know what the twist is in this show? That they made another Joe Millionaire.
  • AOC goes mask-less in Florida, Warren Davidson compares vaccine protocols in the nation’s capitol to Nazi Germany and the investigation concerning Matt Gaetz’s alleged sex trafficking is heating up. As if the Founding Fathers weren’t dead enough.
  • For the last time, Circus Peanuts are not fit for human consumption. If you disagree, you best get help for your blue pill addiction.
  • How the hell does Rob Lowe still have hair like that? I mean, without having to scalp somebody?
  • I think we can all agree that adjectives can be used for good or evil. So if you call someone ‘fantastic’ or ‘zealous’, congratulations on being a righteous human being. But if you refer to someone as a ‘national treasure’ and her name ain’t Betty White? Be assured, you are on my watch list.
  • Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross cycles through head coaches the way Kim Kardashian cycles through love tonics. He fired Brian Flores this week, never minding the fact this dude coached the hell out of an incredibly flawed team. Never minding the fact Flores didn’t lose his team when it sank to 1-7. Never minding that Flores was 4-2 against the great Belichick as Miami boss. That’s a shit ton of never minding, but it’s what Ross does. And now he goes looking for his seventh head coach since buying the team in 2008. Ross blathered on about how Flores was difficult to work with. You know who else is difficult to work with? Bill Belichick.
  • Renn Hawkey won Love Powerball, but I betcha he wouldn’t know Jane Austen from Steve Austin. A very trusted source provided me with this information . . .
  • Applebee’s stole the Cheers theme song now? Oh. Hell. Nope. (Psssst! That’s called foreshadowing).
  • MLB owners and the player’s union got together yesterday, and the only peeps happy about this fact are the caterers. The owners are intent on keeping their payrolls young and cheap for as long as possible while the players argue the suits are manipulating their service time. You’d never know the MLB pulled in more than 3.5 billion last year, but it happened. To quote Nino Brown, money talks and bullshit runs a marathon.
  • When someone begins with “Nobody asked me . . .”, shut any further nonsense down by finishing the thought with ” . . . and we are all the better because of it”.
  • I have a sneaking suspicion Power of the Dog is gonna roll this year’s Oscars. And good for everyone involved, really. But I saw it and I’m still waiting on a time refund from Stephen Hawking.

Welp, that’s a wrap for this magical mystery tour. If you made it all the way to the end, please let me know what you were drinking, smoking or ingesting in the comment section below. Remember, to err is human but to annoy is unforgivable.

Salud!

44 thoughts on “The Annoyances Post! (My Therapist Is On Vacation Edition)

  1. I loved your National Treasure comment. I did make it to the end with no help and found it an enjoyable piece. What made it most enjoyable is I agree with it all, and you saved a couple of hundred bucks on the couch visit. Thanks for the laughs, Pilgrim.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. B

    Now I can see why you flushed me so early last night 😉 But it’s all for good reason because next to your beautiful prose, there is nothing I like better than your rants! I’m thinking this is even better than therapy – except that you don’t get to lie on a couch as you spew…

    – Ugh. I have to agree. Nothing worse than a grown-ass man using high school girl talk.
    – I turned on my TV last night and this machismo supposed “hunk” talking to a Barbie Doll… I had me a feeling and yep. Right quick changed channels.
    – The poor Founding Fathers remains are shuddering.
    – Circus peanuts are THE most disgusting thing I have ever had the displeasure to taste.
    – It’s cruel and unusual punishment to watch the likes of Rob Lowe. Well, not for ME, of course…
    – Ever notice how many things are awesome? Really? That cookie inspires awe? Gotta be one helluva one, tell you what.
    – Why can’t they fire Stephen Ross. I know he’s an owner but there has to be some kind of big-wig shark that can force him to sell, no?
    – What’s Love Powerball?
    – They did not! That is sacred. They couldn’t just steal it without consequences, surely?
    – There is a reason “nobody asked you” – unless it’s for something that another person will use and the only one who should have been asked… No, no.. I’m almost not speaking out of experience…🙄
    – You’re probably right. But yanno, not for nothing the best picture chosen is often not the best picture out there. Then again… maybe we missed something? Like the opportunity to watch something else!

    I’m with John. I was more than able to get through this stone cold sober. No worries, I’ll make up for it latah. It is Friday, after all!

    Salute!

    Q

    Liked by 1 person

    • Q

      Wait, what? I flushed you? Nope. You must be thinking about your other fella, 😉

      And these guys are ALL over the morning talk shows. Grown ass men chatting up the latest bachelor show . . . that just ain’t right, I’m sorry.

      Joe Millionaire? Why????

      The Founding Fathers would have a show that I would actually want to watch. Too bad they’re so completely dead.

      Circus peanuts, packing peanuts . . same difference, only the former is covered with Agent Orange.

      Oh sure! You get to have an eye candy party! Eat up! And the funny thing is, I am watching a show I would NEVER watch and it’s all because of that guy! He’s just so damned charming.

      Unfortunately, Stephen Ross is not a wise guy. I wish it were that easy, because this fool deserves to be kicked the hell out of town.

      Love Powerball is Vera Farmiga.

      Applebee’s steals every classic song. They must be paying a fortune to ad agencies, which explains why their menu blows.

      Yanno, at the end of the day . . it is what it is.

      Buahahaha! That’s exactly what I was going to say.

      Fri? Meet DAY!

      Salud!

      B

      Liked by 1 person

      • You know better. I only have the one fella…

        Blech. I can’t.

        I cannot fathom any reason why. And they have two of them? WTF?

        Yeah. They would have something to say and show!

        Other than their shape being somewhat close(ish) to the real thing… just. What. The. Fuck.

        It can’t always be for you guys, yanno. And I know it ain’t your genre. But hey, mindless now and again can work.

        It would make things a LOT easier if they could put wiseguys onto the situation. Just sayin’

        Ah. I guess I shall have to check it out…

        I guess Applebee’s can afford to do so. Don’t make it right.

        It is.

        😉

        Woooooot! Fri-YAY! And not a day too soon.

        Santé!

        Like

  3. Ha ha ha! OK I have a stitch in my side from laughing and I think I should sue! But being Canadian it’s so much easier to just forgive. And suggest that a weekly rant would not be amiss.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Not only are the Founding Fathers still dead, they’re spinning at warp speed in their graves with what’s going on these days.

    Applebees filched the Cheers song?? W-O-W, just wow. They aren’t remotely close to the Cheers bar and definitely pilfering the tune seems like a high crime.

    Sounds like the Fish’s owner is related to the current ownership of the Broncos. Insert eyeroll here and then let loose with the appropriate expletives.

    Didn’t realize AOC went to Florida…maskless. Maybe that explains her positive COVID test? Boy they sure have a track record of doing things in Florida (and not necessarily in a good way). Hope you have a good weekend. Looking forward to the Rundown on Sunday.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You ain’t kidding about that. I feel for the guys, even if they’re long gone. I mean, if their spirits are still hanging around . . . Jesus.

      No, there is absolutely no resemblance, in sound, spirits or personality. Cheers is landmark, whereas that other place sells boneless wings.

      Ross said he wants to change the culture, which means he should sell the team. Because he’s not cultivating anything positive by rolling one of the better, more respected coaches in the game.

      And now DeSantis is lecturing people on how if they have the vaccine, everything will be alright. Of course, with mid-terms coming up, he’s pivoting from his previous ignorance. What a complete asshole.

      Liked by 1 person

      • DeSantis is a real piece of work, that’s for sure. Cheers served up a great experience, whereas Applebees floats gross substitutes for pub food. I’d rather set my hair on fire than eat there. No atmosphere, no nothing. Ross doesn’t care about the game of baseball, he just seems like another guy with a boatload of money and a bully personality to go with it. 😬

        Like

    • Oh that’s Dale intimating that I didn’t have time to chat because I was writing this post up, LOL. Did you know Canadians refer to dissing as flushing? They are some carazy peeps, tell you what.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Cincy!

      Nah, the Rundown will keep on keeping on. Sometimes on Fridays and sometimes on Sundays.

      I think Flores rubbed Ross the wrong way is what happened. And the Boss is always going to win that battle, unfortunately for us. I was thinking about replacements and I’ve got two favorites. If we go offense, Daboll of the Bills. If we choose to stick with a defensive HC, Todd Bowles of the Bucs.

      And if Flores goes to the Bears, Imma be rooting like hell for him to win.

      Like

  5. I can’t understand the Dolphins firing their head coach. That’s an owner who doesn’t understand he should let the football people run the team.

    As for MLB … I think this work stoppage is the most frustrating one they’ve had. It seems like they’re arguing over who gets the final $10 million slice of a $4 billion pie. I just hope they don’t agree on the universal DH.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Applebee’s sucks!
    Glad you got all those squatters off your brainscape.
    I worked with Rob Lowe in Toronto, when he couldn’t get Hollywood work. It was when the porno(ish) tape was circulating the globe. For me, it was a big break…my first real break.
    I wound up doing his underwear & socks laundry, as a personal favour. Whenever he sent his laundry to the hotel’s service, those items never came back. I took pity.
    He was a real nice guy, who had lots of great hair. I’m not surprised it’s lasted.
    Yet another comments box tale from life in the fast lane.

    Hey are you going to be covering the Joke (Djokovic) tomorrow?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! It does, and no amount of free boneless wings is gonna change my mind!

      I cannot lie, I fucking LOVE your stories, Resa. I copied and pasted your Rob Lowe remembrance and asked Dale whose comment that was. She knew immediately. As I told her, you are an ass kicker. You rock it.

      As for the Joker, what do you think? Friday? Yeah, I was remiss in not including this today but I figured I had enough sports.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Enough Sports!!!

        I’ve started a document called Tales From Comments Boxes.
        This tale is pasted in there.
        I think I’ve pasted a couple more somewhere. I need to get this together. You shall be my confessor.

        Liked by 1 person

          • NOT kidding!
            It’s that many say …Oh Resa you gotta write that down. Yet, when I try…I’m dry.
            When my memory is jogged, I’m wet.
            So… this might be how I get it done.
            So… there!

            I still haven’t sent Russ Tamblyn’s silver & turquoise pin back to his manager. I’m too, humiliated.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Yeah!
            I don’t know how it happened?
            He came to me at wrap and asked if I knew where his pin was. I told him that I had put it on his table, for him to take.
            He nodded. He knew I was telling the truth.

            You see, it was my first feature… WHOAH talk about low budget. I had about $500.00 for all of the costumes.
            When I called him (I just loved calling the lead actors and talking about their character needs, sizes, etc.)
            Anyway, Russ said – the only thing I ask is for a great pair of shoes.
            You know he’s a hoofer from way back! He told me his feet were shot from all the dancing (West Side Story… I fell in love with him).
            I can’t remember ..OH Rockports!
            So, I bought him a pair of Rockports. They cost me $100.00 of my budget.
            He was thrilled. He handed me a pin, and said that it didn’t matter what he wore, but this pin was very important to him & whomever gave it to him. I had bought his character a hat. We pinned it on & that became a major thing for his character.

            Anyway, as I mentioned….it went missing.
            About 5 years later, I found it in my jewelry/ accessories kit.
            I was, and still am mortified. My niece says I should send it to him before he dies.

            I can’t talk about it now… but there’s this weird story about Robert Loggia’s hairbrush… yet another of my humiliations.

            Liked by 1 person

          • This is serious book stuff Resa.I am enthralled, not just at the names and the situations, but at the way you can tell a story. It’s impressive enough to have these stories, but then to be the storyteller that you are, it’s a no brainer

            And I agree with your niece. You will feel better about things.

            At some later time then? The Robert Loggia story?

            Liked by 1 person

          • Yes!
            OMG… I have to send it back…
            Okay, let me find it………..AGAIN!

            Next time you do a Joe Pesci review,I’m sure the gangstah in me will come out.

            It seems I’ve started early in my career confessions.
            I’m sure I told you about Jon Voight and the White House dinner. I’ve got to search that in my files.

            OH… I’d love to tell about Helen Mirren and the onions. Boy, is she a class act.

            OMG Peter Fonda.. and the ice skating incident!
            You’ve got me on a roll. keep it coming!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Go get it girl!

            Oh yeah? You make me WANT to write one now so I can see Resa the Gangster, LOL.

            Yes you did. 🙂

            Oh my Godness Resa, you’ve got a million of ’em.

            I will! 😉

            Liked by 1 person

  7. I too am a fan of the rants! What can I say, peeps with ‘tude are just more interesting. Speaking of rants:
    -Aren’t we done with reality TV yet?
    -The Kardashians, why?
    – And butt insurance, really?
    I could go on, but this is your post, please rant on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think so too Ella.;)

      We’re never going to be done with reality TV. Which IS NOT REALITY since the people know they are being filmed!

      The Kardashians Why is the next reality show . . .

      J-Lo says because!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. First off I have no idea how I missed this post! I’m digging it. I have a BIG issue with adults born during the Big Hair Aquanet days that say OMG or type OMG. It’s annoying. You have gray hair don’t say that unless you’re in the middle of telling a joke or some kind of satire monologue. I can’t take advice from people who use that. I just can’t. I can’t even listen to them on the radio or watch them on TV. It’s up there with nails on a chalkboard and Kelly Ripa on that show. Ugh. And you know what is worse, which I couldn’t think was possible but is? Shoes like Joe Millionaire and the bachelors. Ha! I saw that Applesbee’s commercial and was like what? Wait. What happened? Ha! And Rob Lowe. He was the best part of your post. What the hell? Paul Rudd and Rob Lowe. I need your face cream and face cleanser night time routine or your vitamins. What is going on, because my face does not look like that and neither does my hair. You know I found out Rudd is 52 years old? 52! And Lowe is 57! They’re both older than me and look way better. I bet they’d look way better even without the lifting makeup and all that filtering. Dude. Good post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Is Kelly Ripa still on the air?

      Joe Millionaire . . . I have to confess, I watched the first one! That was like, twenty years ago and I railed on about it and then I watched it. This, I will take to my grave as the only real regret I gots.

      Love the Cheers song, but Applebee’s AIN”T Cheers.

      Lowe and Rudd also happen to be exceptional human beings. God broke the mold. Twice!

      Thank you hermana.

      Liked by 1 person

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