With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Because the new month starts on a Wednesday (Tuesday), Imma also said I’m not bumping Dale – and no way would I even consider that thought! Marc, thanks for the space.
2022 provided a rainy May for Cincinnati, which has become the fifth rainiest Mays in recorded history.
May was a month featuring continued conflict in Ukraine, a baby formula shortage in the US, a leaked Supreme Court draft ruling, rising gas prices, the second biggest longshot Kentucky Derby winner, photos of the center of the Milky Way (confirming no nougat), a Eurovision winner from Ukraine, too many mass shootings in the US, the one-millionth COVID death in the US, and politicians saying stupid shit.
We remember those who departed us in May 2022: a basketball Hall of Famer, a Napa Valley wine pioneer, a Greek keyboardist-composer-Oscar winner, shooting victims, a Field of Dreams actor, and iPods.
In case you missed it, here are a few May headline gems from The Onion: Man Scared of Committing to Earpods because he’s Afraid to Someday Lose Them; Affection for Restaurant Dialed Back upon Realization It’s a Chain; New Diversity Initiative; Elderly Man Spends Afternoons Feeding Self to Ducks; and Sacrificial Altar Comfier than Expected.
For some crazy reason, this compilation fits for a transition.
June starts tomorrow, so there is new stuff to celebrate. Monthly celebrations for June include smiles, sponges, papaya, surf music, bathroom reading, celibacy awareness, and naked bike riding. Weekly cake and candles include International Clothesline Week (4-11), Duct Tape Days (16-18), and Craft Spirits (19-25). Day celebrations include Oscar the Grouch (1st), Moonshine (5th), YoYo (6th), Ghostbuster’s (8th), Sex (9th), Bourbon (14th), Prunes (15th), Tapas (16th), Garfield the Cat (19th), Gongs (21st), Runner’s Selfie (23rd), and Bike Naked Day (25th). For a complete list of June celebrations, check it out here.
Earlier this spring the Biden Administration created a Disinformation Governance Board (DGB). The DGB is currently on hold for organization or reorganization, but I still have a few thoughts. 1) That’s a waste of time and money. 2) Disinformation is defined by the person occupying the Oval Office. 3) This is an excellent example of trying to protect people from themselves. 4) It doesn’t prevent politicians from talking.
May was a horrible month for mass shootings in America. As one party wants tight controls, the other avoids the issue by offering no solutions to lame excuses. So the beat goes on … but I’m not playing Sonny and Cher. Perhaps this headline from The Onion is a good explanation: No Way to Prevent This’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens.
Baseball season is well underway, so here are two bookends. After two months, Marc’s Yankees have the best record in baseball while my Reds have the worst. I proudly say that my streak continues of not hearing or seeing one pitch.
Because we hope to see Top Gun: Maverick in the theaters, we recently revisited the original movie on Netflix. For those who may want to do the same, today (Tuesday 31st May) is the last day it will be streaming on Netflix.
Thank you, May, for doing what you do. Being it’s the last day of the month, don’t forget to celebrate Necrotizing Fasciitis Awareness Day (Flesh-Eating Bacteria). June starts tomorrow, so you can start the month with Oscar the Grouch Day. At least now you know what’s going on. I’m out of here.
Be Sorry . . . Less 
If only ‘pretty little May’ (from the soundtrack of Carousel) was forgettable…sigh…it was an ugly month for so much. And with the current stalemate about what to do about the singularly common phenomena of mass shootings in the US, I suspect the soundtrack in June will sadly remain the same, welcoming new communities to the nationwide club of heartbreak. Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On” should be our national anthem.
P.S. If it’s any consolation, the Rockies are in last place in the West and trying their darndest to vie for the top basement position. Because misery loves company. Cheers, Frank. Let’s participate with toasts the week of June 19th as another sport hoists a celebratory Cup. 🥃
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Monica,
I see your point about “What’s going on?”. Meanwhile, yes – misery loves company – but (at least at this point) my team is worse than yours. However, your Avalanche look strong and could be hoisting the Cup for the third time. But first they must take care of the Oilers. Good luck and enjoy the ride!
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This is the absolute best time of year IMHO and one that I plan to fully savor to the final handshake…no matter who ultimately hoists the Cup. 🏒 🥅 🏒
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Great post Frank. I think What’s going on is perfect for our times. I did spot one little statement in your post which was an opinion not based on fact. “As one party wants tight controls, the other avoids the issue by offering no solutions to lame excuses.” Both offer so-called solutions. One party offers tougher legislation. (Which may or may not work) The other offers tougher school security (which so far hasn’t worked). I don’t have a definitive solution to the problem but think having better background checks and 21-year-old requirement for ownership might help. I do think the problem has a psychological component that will be difficult to solve. I look to the problem of drunk driving as a comparison to the problem of gun violence. There are a lot of rules around getting behind the wheel drunk yet people still do it. Banning alcohol or cars would definitely have an effect but feel those solutions are not practical. I think banning guns would have an effect but have to wonder about the practicality of that as well.
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John,
Thanks for the thoughtful comment. You delicately described some of the difficulties with the issue. I will agree that in terms of mass shootings, one party favors increasing school security – and yes – that is far from a cure-all … and there probably isn’t a cure-all solution. However, increasing school security does not address mass shootings in supermarkets or in public spaces. One party points to mental health issues – but do they pass mental health legislation when they are in the majority? Nope. I always enjoy the “Guns don’t kill people argument” – and when did guns get a conscious or exercise free will? Yes – the practicality of banning all guns is probably not practical – but so is not addressing the issue. Then again, I think of the political ads that not only promote guns but also feature automatic weapons. Thanks for the genuine dialogue.
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😊
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Always happy to have my comrade in all things baseball and vino, Cincy.
And uh . . not for nothing but the nougat was most likely eaten before those snapshots of the Milky Way could be taken.
The Onion is no longer satire.
Naked bike riding leads to celibacy, read the science.
Interestingly, Moonshine and Bourbon Days sandwich Sex Day. Pun most definitely intended.
Wait, what? There’s disinformation going on in this country? And I want to know what the budget looks like for the DGB? I’m thinking there are a ton of cocktail parties and resort vacations included in this deal. But maybe I’m disinformed . . .
Violence is America’s way of problem solving. And I have to disagree with the people who say we never learn anything from these horrible incidents. To the contrary, I think we learn plenty. We learn about about how another at risk teenager begged to be heard long before they made sure they would be. We learn about the latest names to show up at an NRA event in the aftermath of a shooting in order to preserve their 2nd amendment rights (See: Continue getting paid). And we learn we have failed these kids. Epically and horribly and tragically.
The Yankees are on probation. I know, they have the bestish record and all, but winning games early isn’t the same thing as winning games when the leaves turn. And the Reds scored 20 runs in a game this season. The Dolphins only did it a couple times last season! What is UP with that?
I’ll skip the flesh eating bacteria, and take a bourbon. Make it a double, por favor.
See you in June!
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Marc,
You certainly picked up many nuggets in this review – including the logical explanation about the nougat. Oh my – The Reds dispatched the evil ones in the division. Well, at least last night. Yes – they also poured 20 on the Cubs. As I told a friend – scoring 20 when only 6 could be enough on that day. After all, holding a team to 1 will only get a win if scoring 2 or more. I just returned from The Onion – yep – it’s no longer satire. They have a way of sticking it to us!
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I mean, the camera doesn’t like but it doesn’t always see the truth either.
The Red Sox are sneaking back into things so I would owe you a debt if the Reds pushed them down again. Just saying.
Is it just me or does it feel like the Cubs won that World Series back in 1908?
That’s the great mystery of the game. One day you’re a rock star and the next day you’re the guy who’s taking the bus ride food list for the rock star. Every single day brings something totally different. Too bad Manfred is so intent on NBA’izing the sport.
One day people will shake their heads in wonder at the idea that The Onion used to BE satire.
PS- I have some thoughts on the Tim “Don’t Call Me Jackie” Anderson that Imma probably dish up on Friday.
PS2- What in the blessed fuck is up with Tommy Pham? A two-year old grudge over a fantasy league result?
PS3- Did you see Marjorie “Don’t Call Me Jackie O” Taylor Greene’s latest contribution to the world?
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A tidbit about the 1908 Cubs. They also won in 1907, lost the series in 1906 (to the cross-town Sox), and lost in 1910. A heck of a ride for Tinker-to-Evers-to-Chance and an arm with 3 fingers.
I shake my head at MLB rule changes. Why can’t a put 6 players between second and third base? Their ideas for speeding up the game miss the obvious. A friend told me rosters limit the number of pitchers. As I told him, I have no issue with a team carrying 25 pitchers because that means 8 will play other positions during the game.
Tommy Pham is a typical Red these days – a relatively cheap free agent management hopes has one career year. They benched him last night. Meanwhile, I try to avoid nenws about MTG.
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They were a powerhouse, and ESPN wasn’t even around to beat us over the head with wall to wall coverage of their dominance over the sport!
The fundamentals ain’t happening, which is why the shift became such a polarizing issue in the first place. And the pitch clock is silly when all you have to institute is a rule that when pitcher and batter begin, neither gets to step off. Just go! I watched some footage of Greg Maddux recently. The dude was dealing it less than ten seconds after getting the ball back from the catcher.
Listening to Pham and Pederson talk about their beef was like listening to a couple of elementary school kids talk about a video game result.
Oh, you’re gonna love this one (MTG).
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Yep … just go! I say the umpire is the key. Calling the strike zone by definition – which is bigger than a mailbox – forces the batter to swing!
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I agree.
And can we PLEASE take that automatic runner off second to start extra innings? He’s scaring the kids!
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An idea …. at the end of the ninth inning with the score tied … flip a coin …. the winner of the coin flip gets a choice …. either get a run or the chance to score to win.
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That might just work. And if not, then they have to answer a trivia question piped in from Hollywood by host Ryan Seacrest.
Either/Or?
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Frank,
I thank you for keeping Wednesday open 😉
I’m not sad to see the end of May, quite frankly, though we did have a week of ridiculous temps. And then yesterday and the day before up in the 80s, today, we might reach 65, and as has been happening for the past few years, it seems June will start off with crap weather once again.
Love those Onion headlines! And have to agree with Marc, they no longer feel like satire.
Who doesn’t love Oscar?
Well dang. Sex has a day? Just one?
I don’t live in the States and I am beyond angry at the lack of DO concerning these shootings.
I just got back from seeing Top Gun: Maverick. Was FANTASTIC.
What’s Going On is the perfect tune for this month of mayhem.
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Dale,
No problem on the Wednesday thing. I just looked ahead to July – and it starts on Rundown day …. which tells me to follow you by posting Thursday. Thanks for the Top Gun: Maverick endorsement. What’s going is the fitting question for the times – and sadly so. Life needs more muppets …. and nougat!
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I know it. And hey, a day before ain’t so bad.
I really enjoyed it!
We need more muppets!
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Thank you for wrapping up May so succinctly and enticing us with the future of June. I’m looking forward to it…
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Marc –
I love how you share your space and make the sorryless blog a collaborative effort and glad Dale’s Wednesday pics didn’t get bumped – haha
—
And Frank – your analytical and personal always has the splashes of humor – like the Sesame Street snippet and whoa…. no nougat?
No nougat in the Milky Way?
The timing of reading that little joke was also cool
Because just this week I was eating dark chocolate and remembered seeing a show about when chocolate companies found they could save money by making nougat (and of corse it led
To
Offering customers variety) but it was interesting to see a
Show about it!
—
And that brigs me
TO the mass shootings,
Which Marc and I have chatted about before –
But before we blame the guns – we need to look at the prescription drugs most mass shooters were on- then cinder diet because the nougat comment reminded
Me that many Gen Zers (a couple of the shooters were very young) were raised on such crap food and likely have serious nutrient deficiencies, and missing the good fats because all this HFCS and candela oil scars the liver and pulls
From health
In addition – were they raised watching violent shows and playing violent video games?
All
Of these factors need to be considered as we try to prevent these — we have a very angry culture with displaced and wounded misfits who then cling to the wrong tribe and it breaks my
Heart- hurt people hurt people
And in these cases –
Hurt people have killed people – !
Prayers for those who mourn
😊🙏
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Yvette,
No way I’m going to bump Dale from Wednesday because I know her wrath is worse than Kahn’s! Otherwise, there is a lot of evidence that our society is a combination of edgy and goofy – and solutions are not easy – let alone, one sie fits all.
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