Joe Pesci Movie Review: Final Score

Best Buy: Final Score [DVD] [2018]

It’s been a long time since I did one of these movie reviews for Marco, seeing as how I was holding out for more money. Lemme clarify that statement for ya . . . I was holding out for any fucking money whatsoever! The cheap fuck doesn’t pay me for these gems, and if not for the fact he has so much dirt on me, I’d already have moved him into some cheap digs out in the desert.

So this week I’m reviewing Final Score. It’s an action movie even though it involves a soccer game, go figga! Dave Bautista and Pierce Brosnan are the only actors I recognized because the cast of this thing is more British than General William Howe’s army. And no, I ain’t a history buff, but I banged a chick who was a Revolutionary War reenactor back when I was chasing acting jobs. Or at least I think she was a reenactor. . . .

Anyway, Bautista plays this schmuck named Michael Knox. The reason I call him a schmuck is because he adopts his Army pal’s family after da guy croaks. Knox blames himself and I understand what it’s like when one of your soldiers hits the snooze, permanently speaking. But if I played Uncle to the families of every soldato I lost to a business meeting, I woulda gone broke, yanno? Knox clearly didn’t get the memo because the stronzo visits them all the time. And get this . . . they live in the UK! So he hops a plane, from the states, just to drop in on ’em whenever the fuck he has a free minute.

Knox convinces his Army pal’s wife to let him take his make believe niece to a soccer game. Mom runs a bar and deals with a lot of pains in the asses, but they’re a piece of cake compared to her daughter so she agrees to let Uncle Mike take her. That’s where the soccer game comes in, and not for nothing but the guy who wrote this is fucking brilliant because he figured out a way to make the sport inneresting: Terrorists!

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. The terrorists are Russians and their entire plot hinges on a couple nut-bags reuniting so’s they can start a revolution. It reminded me of the time I almost married a Russian girl but the fuckhead handling the online transaction maxed out my credit card and ran off with her. So . . yanno, Russians ain’t my favorite people. But these guys are even worse than that! They lock down the stadium during a game and the fans have no idea that they’re hostages, because the only thing dumber than an American sports fan is . . . well okay, there ain’t anything dumber than an American sports fan.

After the terrorists lock down the joint, we find out they have it wired with explosives and nobody’s leaving. I remember the time my late business associate Sal pulled a stunt like that with one of the bosses. Let’s just say there’s a reason Sal is my late business associate.

As much of a schmuck as Knox is, he also happens to be a real badass. So he takes care of most of the terrorists and then he finds Dimitri Belav, played by Pierce Brosnan. Dimitri doesn’t wanna be reunited with his nut-bag brother because he’s traded revolutions for soccer tickets. Whatever. And of fucking course, Knox’s pain in the ass niece is running around inside the stadium with a little douchebag for half the movie and then he has to save her on top of killing the terrorists and making sure thirty five thousand fans don’t get turned into bread pudding. He accomplishes all this with the help of a Middle Eastern kid working security at the game. I shit you not. Everything works out, in the event there’s a sequel.

Oh yeah, Marco wanted me to let ya know there may be spoilers in this review.


36 thoughts on “Joe Pesci Movie Review: Final Score

  1. Snorf…beyond the body eye candy, I can’t think of a reason to pay money to see this flick. See, Joe…your pal Marco ain’t the only cheap-skate. Thanks for saving me springing for the $15 box of popcorn even with a bargain afternoon matinee tix. 🎥

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Well, Joe, Marco really ought to be paying you for these gems!

    P.S. Marc, I am wondering why I’m starting to see so many blogs with “sponsored content” (icky ads) at the bottom (or in the middle) of their posts. Has everyone sold out or gone to free accounts?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I thought so too! The sonova . . .

      Marco here . . . I came in on a subscription fee blog but truth be told, I never really cared to explore the advantages. I’m sure anything I really would’ve wanted would have been an additional fee.

      Anyways, last year I said amscray to the subscription and lost my as a result. I survived just fine 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Yanno, I miss dose guys! They loved Goodfellas! I mean LOVED it!

      Da flick is worth it . . . if it’s free.

      I should look her up. Her name was Helen Mirror . . . or something like that . . .

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Joe,

    Ya hit this one outta da ball park, once again. And not for nothing, I think you deserve a li’l somthing for your efforts.

    Of fucking course, the lead guy is ex-Army. Of fucking course, he’s gonna get embroiled in a Russian terrorist thing. And of course, the “niece” is gonna be a cause for problems (just like you knew the heat butt was gonna come in at the right time). Ya gotta admit the little Middle Eastern kid was a hoot.

    Now you maybe didn’t know Ray Stevenson, but I had the serious hots for him when he played in Dexter…. all to find out he’s gay (in the show, not real life). Sigh. Bauttista looks like a brute. And Brosnan’s role was so small, they coulda used anybody!

    There was nothing original in this movie, and we didn’t expect it really, did we? It was free Friday night fare. However, your review makes it all worthwhile!

    Da Canadian Chick.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oy!
    Guess I won’t be watching this one. A Bruce Willis rerun will have to do, if it comes down to it.

    Last massive venue I went to was at the Scotia Centre. It was a Drake concert (I was comped the tickets).
    It was terrifying. Not the music, the venue. Too, many people. I saw a disaster in the awaiting.

    I have vowed never to enter a venue that large again.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Do you like Jason Statham?

      Yanno, I used to go to such things but as I got older, it really started to mess with me. For one thing, it’s an ocean of people in a very small space. Add alcohol, drugs and whatever else. . . nope.


      Liked by 1 person

      • JS seems popular,, but I’m not all that familiar with his work.
        … and whatever else. . . bananas, I thought. Then I remembered when I was 18, I was asked to pose nude with a GIANT BANANA for Playboy. I wanted to do it, but a woman who had been the Muriel Cigar Girl, talked me out of it. She said I would never be normal/myself again once all those men poured their sexual lust on me.
        I took her advice.
        It’s one of those cross roads moments in life.
        I would be in a very different place now, had I done that. However, I didn’t and lived in artistic poverty for 20 more years.


        Liked by 1 person

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