I like the idea of a spirit world.
Ancient Egyptians took the shit very seriously because to their way of thinking, a person’s life wasn’t finished when their expiration date came calling. They believed that the newly departed had an appointment with Osiris- the god of the deceased- and his 42 judges in a place called The Hall of Truth. If it was judged that the person on trial had lived a good life, they were permitted to enter Club Afterlife. Conversely, if the person was judged to have been a dick, they were tossed into the abyss and devoured by a monster. Not for nothing, but the Hall of Truth sounds way more fair minded than our Supreme Court. But that’s another thought for another post.
Anyways, the Egyptians believed that if you were greenlighted for the penthouse, it was all Gucci from there. Residents whose slippers were woven from clouds didn’t have to sweat any return trips to earth. They were gifted their favorite places and things for the rest of eternity without ever having to load up the car and fill the tank. There was however . . a however. Because let’s face it, there’s always a however. If an individual was called into the existential equivalent of jury duty, it meant their business on earth wasn’t quite finished or their peeps had dissed them in some way.
My daughter is convinced that we have a ghost and his name is Mr. Speaker. It makes sense, seeing as how the former furry ruler of House Lancaster loved the view from his perch and made sure that any visitors knew they had best leave their swords at the gate upon entering. It was his kingdom, they were just visiting. It would be sooooo Mr. Speaker to hold it against us for having replaced his precious crown with not one, but two members of royalty. And in the same calendar year to boot.
I elected Jack the 2nd and Wednesday the Only to the throne in the summer of 2020, whilst we were still writing songs about our dearly departed King Speaker. Truth is, I was in a very dark place after having lost Speaker months earlier and so when my sister sent me a video of a couple kittens she was fostering, I replied with “Sold!” And the rest has become a splendid history of two incredibly majestic rulers whose reign is akin to Carly Simon and James Taylor spilling musical gold onto a piece of vinyl.
Evidently, Mr. Speaker disagrees with this assessment.
“I think Speaker is inhabiting the kitchen,” My daughter informed me.
“What makes you say that?”
“You ever notice how Jack and Wednesday accompany each other into the kitchen? Or if it’s just one of them going in, they’ll usually wait for us?”
“You think Speaker’s haunting their asses?” I laughed.
“It’s something he would do,” She replied.
I conducted a thorough investigation of the area, making sure to cancel out insects, rodents and phroggers before reaching my conclusion that Mr. Speaker is in fact, haunting our kitchen.
Now here’s the thing. I could hold a séance in which I confess to the guy that he was such a hard act to follow, I had to double down! And not for nothing, but I honored his memory by naming one of them Jack (Since his full name was Mr. Jack Speaker) He was a trusted confidante and loyal friend to my daughter. He was an expert wingman for yours truly. And as far as gangster chronicles go, the dude was legendary.
Eh . . . what’s the use? I know he would turn his nose up at such a gesture even if it happens to be completely true. He wouldn’t cease and desist even if I asked him nicely. What Mr. Speaker wants, he always gets. Even now. And it’s not as if the current regime is cutting back on food and water as a result. They’re just a tad bit more discretionary as to how they budget their time in the kitchen. And I think I need to follow their example if I’m being completely honest.
Besides . . .as far as I’m concerned, the spirit world just got a whole lot cooler.
It is excellent that Jack the Speaker is hanging out in your kitchen. I don’t think you have to explain to him since I’m sure he loved to intimidate the interlopers. Love me some Bangles.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He probably just wants to be an annoyance to them. The kind of annoyance they would be to him if he were here to scowl.
The Bangles, that was my crush band.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hear you on the Bangles.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nothing wrong with a ghost in the house, especially one as revered as THE ‘Speaker.’ His successors will probably be just fine, cats always seem to land on their feet…or so I’ve heard.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are like dogs, which would annoy Speaker even more. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, if people can haunt, why can’t pets? And let’s be real, a Feline Phantom would be epic!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wouldn’t it? Glad you agree Pam. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
B,
I like the idea of a spirit world, too.
Ancient Egyptians knew of what they spoke. Glad that those that don’t make it don’t stand a chance. And of course, there is no such thing as a free lunch so, makes sense that being called to do their duty once they’ve been greenlighted means they need to be available for certain duties.
Your daughter is probably right! He just has to make sure the two little “replacements” know the what’s what and the who’s who.
You sure he didn’t take offense at the use of his first name for the new one? Nah, probably not – but he’s just letting you know; making sure they know who is number One. It is interesting that they go in pairs or with one of you,, though.
The spirit world is a helluva lot cooler now that Mr. Speaker is inhabiting it.
Excellent tune, of course.
Q
LikeLiked by 1 person
Q
It’s comforting.
I wonder how stringent they were on this process? Like, did they let a lot of things go or were they hard asses? Because I’ve got a feeling I would be monster food, LOL.
I think he wants to annoy them the same way they would be annoying him if he were still around.
I think so too. The boy will hang out and when I walk in the kitchen he follows me. The girl is a tad bit braver, but she will also decide to wait on us sometimes.
Right?
Gracias muchly!
B
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is.
Hmmm… in them thar days, they didn’t pussyfoot around so… And no, you wouldn’t. Coz deep down, you’re a good egg.
I bet he would!
And that is so funny… Methinks your daughter definitely has the right idea.
Right!
Always.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They cut right to the chase back then. And I’m not so sure, because what if they had a morals clause? 😉
Uh huh!
I think so.
MUAH!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t even try with me, young man. I ain’t buying what you are trying to sell. 🙂
Muy inneresting, tell you what!
MWAH!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nothing? None of it? No sale? You’re a tough customer.
Uh huh, I think so.
MUAH!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nah… I can simply see clearly. You don’t need to cover it up. 😉
MWAH!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You think you’re pretty clever . . .
MUAH!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So do you…
MWAH!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
😘😘😘
MUAH!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
😘😘😘
MWAH!!!
LikeLike
Okay … so you have a ghost, and 2 cats?
I hope you have 2 cats!
This was kind of a magic post. Not sure where I am, probably in ancient Egypt, or your kitchen.
So, ancient Egyptian tombs were wealth laden.
For that reason Tiffany & Co. popped into my today mind.
Then This:
I’ve worked on 2 projects starring Whoopi Goldberg.
The first was for Showtime, titled “Good Fences”. It was based on a book. Danny Glover was her husband co-star.
Part 1:
The story was about a black couple who rose through the ranks (1970’s) and became wealthy. Danny played a lawyer.
As they worked their way up the white ladder, their home became a mansion, their clothes became more and more expensive, her wedding ring… well, the diamond got bigger and bigger and bigger. It was a point in the story that expressed the growing wealth.
Whoopi and I had our first fitting.
I had a contact that specialized in fake diamonds. She had a collection that were all Tiffany knock-offs.
A fabulous presentation table displayed the rings, and other Tiffany pieces appropriate for the character.
Whoopi took one look and said, “I don’t wear paste”. Call Tiffany’s and tell them you’re working with me, and tell them what you need to borrow!”
So, I did. (after producer approval)
2 days later I went to Tiffany & Co & they had a selection ready for me to choose from. The most expensive ring was $95,000.00 C, back then.
There were also bracelets, earrings, etc.
I chose several several rings, a couple of earrings, and perhaps a necklace and/or brooch. It’s nice to have options.
My selections amounted to at least $350,000.000. Maybe more.
They said, okay, we’ll get these ready for you, and call you when to pick them up.
Fine!.
PART 2 soonish
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I have two current members of royalty and they couldn’t be more different from the former king. Which is probably why the former king has come back.
As for your story, WOW. AGAIN. And thank you because you know how to scratch my itch with these!
And that trip . . . you’re toting around more than a quarter of a million dollars in ice! Ice Ice Baby!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Part 2… coming soon…it’s the funny part!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
You didn’t happen to mummify Mr. Jack Speaker, did you? Maybe he’s upset not to have his very own pyramid in the middle of your kitchen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so, Eilene. And no, I didn’t mummify him, because even in death he would’ve messed my shit up for such a thing, LOL.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My new nightmare. The ghosts of cats can haunt my home.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There it is! Hahaha! Thanks Kieran.
LikeLike