Going Halfsies On The NFL Season: Now Streaming On WordPress!

The Three Stooges Football 8x10 Glossy Photo | eBay

We’re at halftime of the 2022 NFL season and what have we learned?

Player safety still matters to the league, the network talking heads and the players . . even if it’s more lip service than a Botox clinic. Meanwhile, instant replay is the biggest oxymoron since reality television was invented. Officiating resembles a pledge drive for Kim Jong-un, Jerry Jones should marry the sound of his voice and for such a quarterback driven league, how comes I only trust Mahomes and Burrow at winning time?

Colts Punt

As for what yours truly learned? Not much.

I predicted the Arizona Cardinals wouldn’t be the third team in as many years to win the Super Bowl in their home stadium and at 4-6, it looks like a pretty good bet. But really, saying the Cardinals won’t win it all is like saying Vladimir Putin won’t win a Nobel Peace Prize. There’s no limb to go out on here.

I agreed with Vegas on the Bills, Bucs, Chiefs, Packers and Rams because I am a simple man. How’d that work out? Glad you asked . . .

  • Bills- They’re a Netflix docu-series in cleats, which means that falling in love with them might kill you.
  • Bucs- Tom Brady looks forty-five years old and so do his teammates.
  • Chiefs- He is to contending status what Tom Cruise is to box office.
  • Packers- I’m glad Miami didn’t trade for Aaron Rodgers because that would have been SO Miami.
  • Rams- They won it all last year after which they turned into a Dario Argento flick.

I thought the Bengals would have a tough time getting back to the big dance after last year’s near hit. A hat tip to the inimitable George Carlin. . . yes that’s right.

After Cincy sent me a ton of threatening emails, I backed off on doubting the Bengals . . pretty much. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t right about the Dolphins and Ravens being in their way. Rather than leaving well enough alone, I tinkered with the idea the Jags, Broncos, Raiders and Colts would be . . . wait for it . . . good! You’d have been better off pushing all your chips into FTX. And I haven’t mentioned the Jets surprising 6-4 record until right now because I believe in Elvis Santa more than I believe in New York.

American Rhetoric: Movie Speech: The Wizard of Oz - The Cowardly Lion on Courage

In the NFC, I really didn’t like anybody. A half season’s worth of games hasn’t changed my mind either. The Eagles are solid if not spectacular, the Cowboys are the kind of product you would peddle on Shark Tank, the Seahawks are more fake than a Florida Man tan and the Vikings and 49ers have great uniforms . . but I feel as if the conference is Reservoir Dogs to the AFC’s Pulp Fiction ; fun to watch but not my first option. If I had to choose my favorite, Imma go with my Wizard of Oz meets Jimmy the Greek fever dream wager and place exactly no money on the Lions to shock the football world. And I haven’t mentioned the Giants surprising 7-3 record until right now because I believe Tupac is tending bar at the Tropicana more than I believe in New York.

How to Watch Chargers vs. Dolphins on November 15, 2020

If you thought I’d conveniently forgotten my pick to win it all, don’t be silly. In spite of their lackluster performance thus far, I’m sticking with Justin Herbert and his dreamy hair to carry the Chargers to the promised land. This phone conversation might explain why . . .

“Hello?”

“Yo, it’s Miami!”

“Hey baby, wassup?”

“Who’s LA to you?”

“Just a friend baby . . just a friend . . . I promise,”

“That ain’t what I’m hearing. I heard you’re talking about LA all the damn time!”

“You know who my bae is, so why mess with the stress?”

“Can’t you see I’m breaking my back out here!”

“And I love that about you. Don’t you know that?”

“I don’t see LA beating Buffalo. Hell, I don’t see LA in first place but guess who is?”

“You are,”

“Damn right. And Imma prove everybody was wrong about me . . .”

“You do that baby, you do that,”

Advertisement

98 thoughts on “Going Halfsies On The NFL Season: Now Streaming On WordPress!

  1. B

    I think your sarcasm is dripping…

    Instant replay is ridiculous. And it ain’t only in football… how many times you gotta see that the guy is safe in baseball? Bloody hell. Do tell, how come you only trust them two?

    I like your comparisons re: quarterbacks… And you know, unless you are Tom Brady at your prime, repeating the win is nigh on impossible… right? You know this.

    I swear, I don’t think I’ve caught a single Bengals game. What up with that? (But I love me some George Carlin…)

    Then again, I haven’t caught much of anything, to be honest. So, I’ll have to take your word for it again. But regardless of how the season turns out, we can always count on your colourful commentary which makes it all the more interesting, so there is that!

    As for that convo… too good. Almost sounds like you got caught with your pants down…

    Great tune, as per!

    Q

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Can’t go wrong with a bit of Stealers Wheel …. especially with the Steelers going nowhere.

    The Bengals are heating up with Joe Cool leading the way. A problem bigger than someone’s hands- a tough road of opponents lies ahead. (5 of last 7 have winning records now). That’s HUGE! I’ll stand tall with the Stripes, but with cautious optimism because I’m a realistic kind of guy. Besides, Joe Cool can’t seem to be the damn Browns. Never has! Plus, Q ditching my city could be an omen.

    Great receivers and a collection of RBs hoping to get the hot hand are making Tua look good. It will come down to the end of the schedule with 3 of the last 4 being divisional games. Interestingly, 2 of the last 3 Bengal games are against the AFC East (Bills & Pats). HUGE impact for your Fins. Possibly the greatest impact ever!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Stealers Wheel, and the song was used by Tarantino in Reservoir Dogs, so yanno . . I had to for the irony.

      The Bengals have Joe, so they’re never out of the equation. But yeah, that schedule is killer! The Dolphins have an equally tough stretch in which they play AT the 49ers and then AT the Chargers and then AT the Bills. Yikes!

      Q didn’t ditch them. She’s Canadian, it was sarcasm.

      You know Frank, I have people come up to me on the street and they tell me this is going to be the greatest end to a football season ever! It’s going to be HUGE!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. With the Steelers doing a slow fade at 90 mph, my next great hope is that Rodgers and Brady will lead their teams to nowhere. Unfortunately, the Bucs are in a horrible division and will likely make the playoffs by default.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “Tom Brady looks forty-five years old and so do his teammates.”

    I laughed too hard at this. The accuracy. May have to use it in my power rankings this week (with credit, of course).

    If LAC keeps letting Herbert sling it downfield like Sunday night, they could be a dangerous team in the playoffs. As long as they don’t go back to the dink and dunk of every game before that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Travis

      Haha! Use it as you wish! And gracias for the props. But hey, it’s kinda been true of the Buc this season.

      Herbert made a throw in last week’s game against the Niners, down the sideline, a laser with zero fat to it. Lean and crisp and damn! I am less depressed about my Dolphins not drafting him now that Tua has stepped up in a big way, but mango! Herbert can play.

      Like

  5. I think what I’ve learned to this point is that parity is once again rearing its ugly head, dynasties are dead, and anyone can win this thing. Of course, once we have a 20-game regular season and everyone is 10-10, we might decide it isn’t that great a thing everyone has the same record. I have read differing opinions about whether fans like to always have a couple of dynasty-like teams around because they get more into seeing if someone can beat them, versus times when there are no dynasties. A couple division races this season are literally races to the bottom instead of the top. I think the NFL continues to be the worst officiated of the four major sports (no, pickleball did not beat out hockey…yet). I do think the Chargers have a shot as soon as Herbert can figure out how to throw to himself. Oh wait, he DID that Sunday night! Let’s root for Dolphins-Eagles.

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.