The Annoyances Post: Volume #755

There are too many shopping days until Christmas.

I came to this conclusion after someone teed up their minus with “Are you all done with your Christmas shopping?” and then followed that up by reminding me how many shopping days I had left before the clock struck Santa while I constructed homicidal scenarios on the fly. After which I decided to work up an annoyances post since I don’t really feel like becoming the next Netflix murder docu-series star.

Let’s do this thing . . .

  • There’s some intrigue as to whether US soccer coach Gregg Berhalter will be back after his club was ousted in the Round of 16. If he decides to leave, good for him . . otherwise, who are the suits going to bring in that’ll do a better job than he did? Is Andy Reid available? No? That’s annoying!
  • You know the people who blow through stop signs in a parking lot as if they’re just for show? They annoy the fuck out of me.
  • People who assume I love gadgets because I’m a dude are annoying. I don’t.

  • “Survival Kits”- Duke Cannon offers peach men’s grooming products and I have no issues with a company that churns out quality products while donating 5 percent of all profits to military causes.. But the packaging annoys the fuck out of me. Take for example the “Survival Tube” shown above; it includes hand balm, lip balm, face lotion and cooling towels. In other words, if you ever found yourself stranded in the Yukon and alls ya got is this boy boutique bundle? You’re going to become a grizzly sandwich right quick. And yes, I understand why companies pimp their merch with this terminology because I’ve done it. And I always hated myself just a little bit more in the doing.
  • People who say “I’m keeping it 100 percent” annoy me.
  • Billboards that implore you to pay attention to the road because distracted driving can be fatal are not simply annoying, they’re dangerously annoying!
  • Hard seltzers . . . annoying.
  • You know when you go to the store for one item and then you start buying other shit? And then you get back home and realize that the one item you went to the store to buy is the only thing you forgot. How annoying is that?

Pin on You've got Red on you

  • “Gear”- Everything is gear now. The proliferation of tactical terms speaks to a society that looks in the mirror and sees a badass staring back at them when in reality we are closer to Chuck Barris than Chuck Norris. I realize calling a winter jacket or a pair of sneakers or hell, even a wristwatch something more physically imposing is all about maximizing profit and burnishing a brand, but hell if it’s not annoying as all get out.
  • People who don’t say “Thank you” when you hold the door for them. Hey, I ain’t looking for a Nobel Peace Prize for holding the fucking door for your ass. Just a simple thank you. Two words . . it’s not hard people!
  • The Tua apologists who act as if the kid’s struggles in his first two seasons were entirely the fault of former head coach Brian Flores. I seem to remember a QB who was stuck in a similar situation to what Tua went through; he had a defensive minded head coach who was a genuine hard ass and didn’t have any use for his QB either. And yet, Tom Brady did pretty okay during his time in New England . . .

kansas city chiefs Memes & GIFs - Imgflip

  • Money Mouths- As Phil Mushnick of the New York Post has pointed out many times, sports fans tune in for the game, not the voices calling it. I would tune in to a Chiefs vs Bengals game if my uncle was calling it, and he’s been dead for years. Conversely, nothing and no one is going to compel me to watch a Lions vs Jaguars tilt. And yet, the networks keep throwing good money after really bad by signing names like Romo, Aikman and now Tom Brady to obscenely extravagant contracts to be the voices of their most valuable product. I think they wear suits and spout inane football jargon to justify the silly money. They can shout that a player is “running north to south” instead of running in an open field, and that he is “high pointing the ball” rather than saying he jumped higher than the other guy to make the catch, but you ain’t selling me on it. As if all this isn’t bad enough, after the networks hire these guys, they lay off a bunch of working stiffs whose profiles don’t come with a Q rating. It’s not just annoying, it’s awful.
  • Hallmark movies.
  • Hallmark cards.
  • Okay, anything Hallmark.

You know what annoys me to no end? People who don’t take a hint when you start walking away because you have used up all the small talk you can muster and you just want to get on with your day but noooooo, they keep right on talking. They don’t care that you’re done with the conversation . . they never stop to think that maybe you’ll hate them for wasting your time . . . and then they hit you with, “Are you all done with your Christmas shopping?”.

I take back what I said earlier. Maybe a Netflix murder docu-series is in my future.




37 thoughts on “The Annoyances Post: Volume #755

  1. Great post, Pilgrim. My annoying list is as long as, well, take my word it is long. Everyone of yours is mine as well. Those guys talking during the game deserve a mute. Best line last week. “He can’t continue to hang on to the ball.” No, he has to pass it to someone who is open. Sheesh. I think that tube has more uses than meets the eye if you are stuck alone in the Yukon. Good job.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I didn’t get past the “dudes loving gadgets” item on your list. My god … no, I don’t like tools. No, I don’t like trying to figure out how to fix things. No … no … NO! (Fortunately, my two sons both like that stuff. Unfortunately, they’ve both moved away so they aren’t around to fix things.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eesh. I once dated a lady mechanic. It wasn’t her craft, but she grew up in a house full of men and knew everything there was to know about cars. The tables turned, and I didn’t have a problem with that. I’m enlightened! Yeah, that’s it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. B

    There ARE too many shopping days till Christmas. And I’ve bought a whole lotta NUTHIN! I know people who did it all before November came to an end. Needless to say, we are not close.

    – I can’t speak for the soccer as you guys did better than we. Hell, we reached a goal by… scoring one goal!
    – I get more than annoyed at those who think stop signs in parking lots are just decoration…
    – Gadgets are not for everyone. Unfortunately, Mick was a gadget man and I am stuck with lots of ’em. Then again, there are things that I didn’t know were useful 😉
    – What is up with these bullshit survival kits? And no kidding. You put all that shit on, you’re like BBQ sauce for the bears! They smell you from miles away,
    – I don’t understand that expression.
    – Those billboards – with flashing lights and whatnot are a hazzard!
    – Hard seltzers, lemonade, etc… be a grown up and drink for realz.
    – All. The. Time.
    – Gear? I must be outta da loop.
    – Is it so hard to say thank you? I delivered an envelope upstairs to some broad. Didn’t even garner a glance, never mind a thank you. Ask me if I’ll go outta my way again…
    – Good on you for backing Tua.
    – Ugh and Ugh and Ugh. Shut up! I’m trying to watch the game here! And you’re right. The amount of dough these blabbermouths get is obscene.
    – Hey, Hallmark is.. yeah, never mind. It’s nuts when you have the likes of Beau Bridges, Carey Elwes, Brooke Shields playing in them…

    Those peeps? I say it’s time we just tell ’em. Yo, sorry man, gotta go. Happy shopping!

    What a hoot with the perfect song!


    Liked by 1 person

    • Q

      I’m changing my religion. Seventh Day Adventists don’t celebrate Christmas, but I ain’t going to their church.

      The goal was a goal. Next World Cup, what is the goal? Wait, don’t tell me. . . the goal is two goals, right?

      The stop signs and stop walks and the red lights on right while I’ve got the green arrow going left and they start turning . . the whole fucking system is shit for.

      I sell gadgets, but I never get high on my own supply.

      “Survival Kits” never include fragranced towels . . just saying.

      Distracted Drivers? Start by reading this billboard!

      There’s a new beer called “Athletic” and it’s twenty five calories. So basically you’re NOT drinking.

      I always feel like calling them some royal name but then I realize they might give me some lip and then I’ll be telling them to eat a bag of dicks and welp, it’s not worth all that.

      Actually, I would still take Herbert LOL

      I’m sure Tom Brady won’t bore us with inane jargon or mindless stats or completely irrelevant anecdotes. I’m just . . . sure . . . of . . . it?

      It’s so sad to hear that.

      Yes, yes it is.

      Love Bon Jovi

      Gracias Q!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I kinda like Christmas…And no church is involved.

        Yes. And now I hear talk of us getting a women’s team…

        The whole system is! Peeps don’t give a rat’s ass.

        That’s like a drug dealer using his own product. No good comes from that.

        And they never smell good, to boot!

        They can’t look up, they’re looking down at their phones!

        That is not a beer. Now, if you told me it was a “hard seltzer”, then I’d believe it the “athletes” would be into it.

        Yeah. I spend lots of time biting my tongue coz at the end of the day, it’s a waste of energy.

        Nothing wrong with that!

        I’m sure he would. errr. um. maybe?

        Ah, the way I see it, it’s an easy paycheque… and harmless.

        It it.

        Me too!

        You know it!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Wait, Canada doesn’t have a women’s team?

          I had a guy blowing through that stop walk just yesterday. I had come to a full stop and was making a left turn to leave the parking lot and there he went, so of course I pulled out in front of him and made him brake, fuck him. If he would’ve hit me, it would’ve been on him.

          The whole gadget thing is just funny to me, I don’t relate.

          Artificial, so much so.

          Between texting and billboards, how is anybody alive?

          That’s for Tom Brady to get drunk on.

          At the end of the day, it is what it is.

          Herbert is bigger, stronger and more sustainable. Methinks the Dolphins got cute with going for Tua. Very good QB, but I would be pleasantly surprised if he’s still playing in ten years.

          Go Bon Jovi!


          Liked by 1 person

          • Apparently not an official one.

            I swear, I would have done the same thing. These assholes who think parking lots are the equivalent of the Daytona 500 need to be brought up short.

            It’s ridiculous and just adds to the “stuff”.

            Like lemon flavoured beverages – to me, they always taste of Pledge (anyone who has sprayed that shit has ended up with some in their mouth or nose – either way, you taste it!


            Uh huh.

            Tua is too tiny and fragile. That is what it is!

            Ya baby!



          • I’m surprised.

            Parking lots are the worst as it is. I am always leery of driving through them because who in the hell pays attention these days? People are texting as they throw their cars in reverse and yanno . .

            More stuff! And stuff most people will never use after the bloom is off the rose.

            Ugh, I can taste that smell!

            Tua would be a great pitcher.


            Liked by 1 person

          • I have to admit I was too!

            They are. People don’t think the laws apply like they do on the street. And it’s good to be leery. It’s safer that way.

            Stuff! And stuff and more!

            Ugh. Right?

            Hahaha! Would he? Does he have a good fastball? 😉


            Liked by 1 person

          • Maybe next World Cup?

            People treat driving as if it’s GTA, more and more. Add texting and you have a cocktail for insurance companies.

            Carlin would have a field day with all this stuff!

            I think Tua has a decent fastball. And in baseball, at least he’s not getting hit by three hundred pound men on the regular.


            Liked by 1 person

          • Maybe…

            They do. And it’s reckless and dangerous and, if they get caught, costly.

            Oh my, wish he ever!

            Well then, maybe a career change should be considered!


            Liked by 1 person

          • Between the speeders and the texters and the texting speeders and the parking lot demolition derby drivers . . . it’s just safer to stay home.

            Hopefully he bulks up and gains height!


            Liked by 1 person

          • It really is. And when you leave the parking lot, for us anyway, it’s a maneuvering around construction pylons and worrying about the not-so-hidden potholes.

            That would be best!


            Liked by 1 person

          • Well most of our parking lots add to the stupidity by placing cones and pylons and whatever the hell else will ensure that fender benders never go out of style.

            Ya think? 😉


            Liked by 1 person

  4. I would have skipped Chiefs-Bengals for the Lions-Jags but I didn’t the chance because the NFL and local stations didn’t give the chance. Time to write a letter to the networks, the NFL, my senator & rep in Congress, old grumpy guy in Florida, and Santa.

    Your take on shopping reminded me. I was checking someone in at the golf course and noted they had a Costco credit card. Her response: “I hate this card. I go in to get a rotisserie chicken and it costs me $200.”

    I’m not into gadgets or hard seltzer.

    You mentioned Hallmark, but I’d toss in Lifetime.

    Wait, wait, wait … A network offered Tom Brady bookoo money to be an analyst? No shit .. I’m surprised!

    Well done, sir!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I watched . . . I forget what I watched! I had a game on but was half ass paying attention as I so often do. I don’t really WATCH games so much as use them for ornamental purposes.

      That . . . is a great line.

      No gadgets, seltzer or Lifetime.

      He’s already doing their brand tour so hey, they don’t care how much they pay him!

      Gracias 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. LOL, Sam Kinnison…that you for that video…his crass observational humor is more perfect than ever for dealing with these annoyances, especially all those millennials who are reading their social media feeds while walking their dogs who poop and pee at liberty. Argh!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. There is no safe answer to the Christmas shopping question. If you say you’re done, then they make snide remarks about how efficient you are, followed up with comments about how they, personally, are far too busy doing important stuff to have their shopping done so early. If you say you’re not done, then they smirk and tell you that you’d better stop procrastinating, becuase time is running out!

    Liked by 1 person

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