The Why Not? Post!: Glutton Free!

In light of the overwhelming popularity (sic) of my Annoyances and What If posts, I decided to add one to the arsenal of my misspent thoughts by playing matchmaker with Why and Not. Be advised, this post comes with zero guarantees so if you’re not completely satisfied with the results, please contact the RNC. Mention Raymond Shaw and get a coupon for a dozen wings at your local Hooters!

Don Meredith was 'Dandy' on the field – and in the Monday Night Football booth -

Why Not . . . make football announcers fun again? For the first time?!

This one was inspired by my last annoyances post where I bitched and moaned about the overpriced mouths on sports telecasts. It got me thinking about how the networks are wasting our time and their money by importing brand names like Brady to call games when the reality is, they already have talented personalities on the payroll. NBC can stick with the traditional play by player to provide the nuts and bolts. But why the overpay on color analysis?

I’m assuming the only reason NBC employs Chris Collinsworth is because air horns weren’t available. Why not use a rotation of color analysts that run the gamut? From news anchors to morning show hosts, comedians and actors who are already cashing NBC checks? Every single streaming platform and television network should be doing the same. This way, they’re keeping it brand and they’re expanding their audience since the casual viewer who doesn’t give a wit about the game might tune in just to hear Costner, Cowell or Hilary Swank . And this would put a stop to the requisite staffing cuts that come with each new big name hire.

Why Not . . . keep a fork on standby when using chopsticks?

Why Not . . . stop pretending you can’t have dark chocolate for breakfast? Have you noticed the shit show of a world that’s happening right outside our doors?

Baseball card packs, Vintage baseball, Baseball cards

Why Not . . . offer baseball fans a couple of traditional double-headers every season?

Oh shit, I forgot! MLB owners can’t quit quilting the quid since they’ve got all those high def checks to cut. But here’s the thing, how do they expect to make new friends if they ain’t providing any benefits? So throw the fans a couple bones now and again, and no, interleague play isn’t a gift . . it’s just another bill.

Why Not . . . bring back Steve Martin and Martin Short for the SNL series finale? Add Eddie Murphy, Tina Fey, Bill Murray and Myers, Sandler, Chase, Fallon , Crystal and any other star that made Saturday nights worth staying in for.

Flying Cars Impractical | Starloggers

Why Not . . . chill on the flying cars talk already?

I realize that Back to the Future released our inner Yuri Gagarin, but there’s a reason car companies relegated all that space aged chatter to a storage unit. Okay, their reasons were mostly logistical and cost conscious since they have a bottom line to answer to, but their common sense also had a say in this. And do you know what it was saying?

The idea of flying cars is nuts.

People haven’t come close to mastering solid ground. And doesn’t the FAA have enough shit to worry about without getting calls about ‘drivers’ that went off the radar? Maybe in a million years when humanity finally solves the ten o’clock meets two ‘o clock tango, but not a day sooner. What’s that? We won’t be around in a million years?










59 thoughts on “The Why Not? Post!: Glutton Free!

  1. B

    I love that idea. Seriously. How cool would it be to have a rotating (or, once and done) roster of various peeps already hanging around the NBC studios. It would be so much more fun than listening to the hogwash that goes on now.

    Yes…. matter of fact, my hands were hurting me so much last night that I had to ditch the chopsticks.

    What? Who said we can’t have dark chocolate for breakfast? I been doing that on the regular! (Goes great with my morning café.)

    Yes and yes. A double header. Like a double feature at the movies, which you can only get at the drive-in now. If there are any in your vicinity still operating, that is.

    I know I would take a gander at SNL if some of those funny peeps showed up.

    People need to dream. Like flying cars would solve the traffic situation. Methinks not.

    Come fly with me!


    Liked by 2 people

  2. Glad I’m not glued to TV sports as I used to be. For the Bengals, I settle for whoever are the announcers. I only watch the Sunday night game for a small part of the second half while flossing. On Saturdays, I check out the games of FOX hoping to find Gus Johnson announcing the game.

    MLB? Well, nothing has happened in the office season to change my mind.

    As for flying cars, I know I’m old enough not to see them. Besides, where will the police hide?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Wait what? You like Gus Johnson? We need to talk! 😉

      As for the Bengals, a very sneaky cool 9-4 after that 0 for 2 beginning. Joe really is the man.

      The MLB tried to go the way of the other sports rather than highlighting what makes it unique.

      Oh, they got places.

      Liked by 1 person

      • When the Bengals were 2-3, each of the three losses were on the last play of the game. Other than the Halloween debacle, they done well.

        The Reds continue to build a team through the waiver wire and cheap free agents. Of course their line is all about the prospects in the farm system. Although that may be true, ownership and its management is playing a dangerous game with fans.

        Oh yes …. thumbs up on Gus Johnson!

        Liked by 1 person

        • And now Joe has that Cleveland thing off his back. They’re dangerous, and in a league where anyone can win, that’s a good place to be.

          Every owner spends now. It’s no longer the New York Boogey Men against the world. Hell, San Diego has spent like crazy!


          Liked by 1 person

          • Ken Rosenthal wrote this interesting paragraph …. This is a new breed of owner, operating under a new collective-bargaining agreement that reflects the union’s success in raising the luxury-tax thresholds and staving off harsher penalties. Cohen took over the Mets in late 2020. Seidler became the Padres’ control person not long after that. Middleton became a 48 percent shareholder in the Phillies in 2014 and their control person in 2016. With any luck, the Nationals and Angels, both currently for sale, will be bought by like-minded individuals or groups, and the turnover will continue with the Reds, A’s and Pirates, to name three clubs that need a change

            Liked by 1 person

          • It’s the wave of now. There is no predicting the future but the short term value of these contracts has already benefited clubs like the Phillies immensely. And not just in the standings.

            Liked by 1 person

  3. I wish there was a band of entertaining announcers too, Marc. The old Monday night football guys were worth tuning in just for the commentary and banter between them and to check out to see if Howard had been overserved.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Why not … turn the volume down when watching sports on TV?

    And, for the record, I’ll never forgive you for mentioning Cris Collinsworth, even though you did it in a most appropriate way. The man is the proverbial fingers on a chalk board for me. He never says anything worth the oxygen. Never.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What irks me most about broadcasters these days especially in my hockey world is the men are tastefully dressed to the nines, the women look like they’re Vegas showgirls showing way too much cleavage and impossible high heels. WTF? Talk about sexist. These gals know the game, why have to sell the another game? Ugh.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I can’t help but wonder if they’re doing it for themselves or selling their souls to run with the big dawgs.

        As for those other than Doc Emmerick you’re not missing much. Tony Luftman is the worst. A WWE announcer who sullies the game with his frat boy silly stupidness. I think I despise him more than any of the women who ‘sell’ their appearance. The guys don’t do it, why should they?

        Liked by 1 person

        • I don’t get the Color Forms dynamic here. Why the suits for guys that talk sports? Why the knee high boots and skirts for women? Why not just dress like normal folk going to work? Suits and dresses if you wish, casual if you wish. I don’t get it.

          I do not for the life of me understand how some of these announcers get away with screaming at us. And the sports talking heads love it!

          Liked by 1 person

  6. I remember one of the networks once had a football game with no announcers. I loved it. Now, I’m not saying it should be a permanent thing, but there are some announcers I turn the sound down on anyway, so there’s that. I can’t use chopsticks, and if I tried I’d be picking up more food than I ate. Hey, dark chocolate at breakfast is fine by me. Any kind is fine by me at any time. The world demands that kind of attitude, I think. I used to love traditional doubleheaders. I also want more day baseball, and that would help that cause. Flying cars will never be a thing, because at some point someone in power is going to realize people can’t drive grounded ones.

    Liked by 1 person

    • If I’m not mistaken, that was a Jets/Dolphins game. And I agree. Not all the time, but why not try that too?

      I like using chopsticks because my lack of coordination and I am under the impression it cannot hurt. I also tend to eat less….

      Dark chocolate is my friend.

      Day baseball! Sadly, we will never get a day World Series game again. Weird to say but true.

      Let’s hope it never becomes a reality.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sadly!

      I am a former Republican without a party now. Independent? I guess. The democrats don’t thrill me either. Why do we only have two choices for parties? In this day and age….

      Nice one Pam!

      Liked by 1 person

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