Still Searching For That Better Place

Nashville school shooting updates: 3 kids, 3 adults killed; female suspect dead - ABC News

“It may well be that we will have to repent in this generation. Not merely for the vitriolic words and the violent actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence and indifference of the good people who sit around and say, “Wait on time.” –Martin Luther King

We were eighty-six days into the latest mean season when a twenty-eight year old Nashville woman walked into a private Christian grade school, armed with two assault rifles and a handgun and gave God the rest of the day off.

By late Monday afternoon, six more souls went missing to the world as the result of gun violence; three adults and three children who ran out of time while our elected representatives waste ours with shrugs and more excuses. And they’ll ignore the fact that on the eighty-sixth day of the calendar year, this was the eighty-ninth instance of gun violence in a K through 12 school. Which means we have two-thirds of the year left with which to break the wrong kinds of records.

Gun violence is the thing we do best.

You go numb to the prospects after a while. Each new horror simply replaces the last as we say the same damn things and write the same damn words and arrive at the same damn nowhere place. Again and again and again into this furious silence of a void so maddeningly deep with loss that if we were to get a clue tomorrow, it would be too late. Hell, we are long past wondering if and when the next lost calendar day will happen. Now, we expect it.

There have now been 129 mass shootings in the US in 2023, and the timing of it all is bad luck for the victims thus far and the ones yet to come. Because less than a year and a half from what promises to be the most contentious of presidential elections in our nation’s history, what are the chances that meaningful legislation can be passed to close loopholes and ban assault rifles? If you’re looking for any kind of change to our business as usual agenda, don’t hold your breath.

I sometimes wonder if there is a better place out there after all of this comes to an end. I like to think there is, because the idea that this world is as good as it gets feels unseemly. And it’s not because we’re a hopeless, murderous lot, far from it. No, it’s unseemly because the great majority of us engender peaceable solutions to hopeless situations all the time, and yet we are resigned to murderous outcomes all the time as well. The latest of which came yesterday, and now I’m thinking that if there is a better place, I would give up my seat if it meant that one of those souls found it. I wouldn’t be doing it out of a sense of guilt or anger. I wouldn’t even be doing it because I said the same damn things and I wrote the same damn things. I would give up my seat because the thought of doing so fills me with the one thing this world doesn’t seem to have enough of.



37 thoughts on “Still Searching For That Better Place

  1. Yup…another Monday, another school shooting. The high school my kids graduated from had a shooting 5 days ago. ‘Only’ two faculty members were shot (but survived); the shooter fled and committed suicide later that day so it will not be included in the mass shooting stats. Small comfort for a country with a hair trigger, more guns than people and way too many of them suffering from all kinds of mental issues who are packing heat. In the Nashville shooting, the guns reportedly were ‘legally’ purchased. The genie is long out of the bottle and I cannot see a way to not to read a headline like this again soon.
    Searching for peace, hope and relief from this madness

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh my God Monika, that’s both horrible and increasingly predictable in this age of madness. It’s becoming unusual NOT to know someone who has been touched by this in one way or another. That genie is mean and relentless and society, much too ignorant. Still!

      Thank you for this

      Peace and love

      Liked by 2 people

  2. B,

    I cannot tell you how much I would love for you to no longer feel compelled to write these heartbreaking posts. Not because I wouldn’t read them; you know I would. But because there was no longer a need.

    No longer a need to count down the days since the last shooting. No need to count how many more deaths are added to the numbers. No need to cry out to please DO something and fix that which is so broken, no one knows where (or rather, has the energy) to start looking.

    But you must add your voice to the cry. Calls to action must get louder. What is the point of having a government, if it does not govern? Hard decisions must be made to do the necessary, no matter what the other side cries. They have been in control for far too long and keep getting stronger.

    It’s the wrong side to be getting stronger.

    Love and peace,


    Liked by 3 people

    • Love,

      What is that thing we say about dreaming in technicolor? I think you’re doing it again. Not that I blame you.

      No need to shake with anger, no need to cry when you’re writing the same damn thing with the same damn outcome again. I want that day when there is no need, but yanno . . .
      Yes. This idea that we can’t do ANYTHING is a madness all its own. It has provided those with no interests in changing a thing the justification. They hide in plain sight. We let them.

      So much so.

      I love you

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know I am. And I cannot help it. Nor do I want to stop. While not delusional, I want to have some hope.

        And no, I guess there is no need to when you are writing the same thing with new places and people. But then again, you can’t be totally unaffected either.

        It is exactly that. The shepherd needs to take care of his flock. NOW. There are too many wolves needing attention that are running about causing all this strife. We’ve said it over and over. Mental health, stricter gun laws and bloody hell, the NRA needs to lose its power.

        Too much so.

        I love you, too.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I know baby. Without it, we are nowhere.

          This stuff wrecks my brain. I found myself writing the LAST one and then thinking, “Wow, I think I did this one some real justice!” as if I was writing a fucking movie review. When I caught myself on it and remembered what is happening and what that post was about, I was leveled.

          The NRA will never lose its power. But for the last two decades, they have been able to make up the rules as they go along, or flout them altogether. They have no shepherd, they have no one checking them.

          Way too much.


          Liked by 1 person

  3. Sick of it Sick of it Sick of it!!! Our kids are living in fear, waiting on the next asshole to step foot into their school or campus and claim their life. Meanwhile we have a bunch of washed up fuck heads that are sitting at the top giving us a moment of silence and offering their prayers!WE DON’T NEED prayer we need a solution.

    I am over it and tired of this bullshit! Scared to death for kids and all they are trying to do is get an education. My heart is mad as hell!!!!!!!
    I’m part of the committee that will bring plans to protect our kids and you would not believe how long it takes to get an answer and it’s about safety!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. When there are already more guns than people in this country, a ban seems like closing the barn door after all the horses ran off. I would love for the violence, hate, and proliferation of firearms to all end. It’s so sick!! My heart goes out to all the shattered survivors of these cruel, damaged souls doing their hateful deeds.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It is so heartbreaking! The mass murders at schools are the worst, obviously, but every murder is awful. In the city where I live, we’re now averaging at least one a night, usually two or three. And no one even comments on it any more. We just keep reelecting people who gut the police department and don’t prosecute the people who are doing the killing. When did murder, mass or singular, become okay? Why are “assault” weapons still legal? Because like you, that’s not the world I want to live in. Life, especially children’s lives, should be protected.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s endemic to our culture at this point, Ann. And yes, I think it trickles down from the glorification of bad behavior to the desensitization of violence to elected representatives who allow it to exist in perpetuity.

      Liked by 1 person

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