Although this post is a day off, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in with some random thoughts about the ongoing month and the new one. Thanks to Marc for the space.
March provided the Oscars, more storms in California, accelerated Russian bombing of Ukraine, Russian-China leaders meeting, TikTok debate, French protesting retirement age, banks collapse, March Madness, vinyl records outselling CDs for the first time since 1987, Nashville school shooting, protests in Israel, a highly-publicized indictment, and politicians saying stupid shit.
March deaths included a jazz trombonist, a disability rights activist, Baretta, an Alou brother (not named Boog Powell), an NFL Hall of Fame coach, a politician & feminist activist, a John Wick actor, a basketball Hall of Famer, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.
In case you missed it, here are a few March headline gems from The Onion:
- Woman Gives Friend A Call On Way Home To Take Mind Off Dangerous Road Conditions
- Grim Reaper Slows Pace On Sidewalk So As Not To Freak Out Woman Walking Ahead Of Him
- Ragged Houseplant Drags Itself Over Expanse Of Living Room Floor In Search Of Water
- Scientists Create Mice From Two Dads
- Rose Petal Fished Out From Between Ass Cheeks
- Weird Little Hat Not Even Religious
Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.
I give The Onion credit for this slide show of great tips about responding to trick questions cops ask.
Did you know?: Julia Davis Chandler is credited with inventing the peanut butter and jelly sandwich
FYI: The average American eats 1500 peanut butter & jelly sandwiches by the time they are 18 years old.
This is what creative people do when they have too much available time.
Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations April offers. For a complete list of April celebrations, click here.
Month-long celebrations include adopting ferrets and greyhounds, fresh Florida tomatoes, global astronomy, holy humor, jazz appreciation, Twit Awards, straw hats, and STDs.
A month to increase your awareness about alcohol, autism, beavers, distracted driving, world habitats, Parkinson’s, and stress.
Weekly toasts include Golden Rule (1-7), Laugh at Work (1-7), Robotics (8-16), Satchmo Days (13-16), Cleaning for a Reason (18-24), Fiddler’s Frolic (20-23), Mule Days (23-28), and the Interstate Mullet Toss (28-30).
Day celebrations include peanut butter & jelly (2nd), rats (4th), Charlie the Tuna (6th), beer (7th), Louie Louie (11th), licorice (12th), dolphins (14th), blah blah blah (17th), macaroni (22nd), tapirs (27th), grilled cheese (29th), and Bugs Bunny (30th)
For a complete list of April celebrations, click here.
April Moons: Full (6th), New (20th)
My Combo: Weird grim reaper drags two dangerous dads between ass cheeks
To take you into April, here’s the Godfather of Soul ….. Happy St. Stupid Day and Pillow Fight Day! I’m out of here.
Be Sorry . . . Less 
Cincy
The fact that Bud Grant DIDN’T die of pneumonia is the headline for me. I watched that guy walk out to midfield before a Vikings game (Before they moved their games indoors) without a coat . . . with temps in the teens or less. And he was well into his eighties at the time. That may be even more impressive than his four Super Bowl trips.
As for these holidays, I think Imma celebrate Dolphins Day on the 14th by NOT buying a jersey. Hey, I have a Ricky Williams navy blue edition that was gifted to me WAY back in the day, still like new because I only wear it maybe a couple times a year (and never outside, unless it’s the beach).
The rest of the holidays . . . come on now people. Let’s put our minds to something that might benefit the greater good! I mean, sitting around thinking up holiday ideas just so’s people can raise a toast to . . . well, maybe it’s okay after all. Yeah, never mind, let’s find more holidays . . .
President Trump . . from prison. Yes it’s absolutely ridiculous and no, I’m not ruling anything out with this bozo and all the many bozos that STILL follow him.
Good to see some fresh blood at the tourney, with the exception of UConn. To think, three of the four teams have never sniffed a title and now they’re on the big stage? I like it. Still haven’t watched a minute but that might change with the Miami v UConn game, even if I think the Huskies are going to prove too much to handle for my Canes.
Q could make that cake. Just saying.
More vinyls huh? Yeah but how many people are buying CD’s anymore?
Hey! The Reds are only one game out of first!
Great recap as per, my man. Have a great weekend
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Marc,
Bud Grant was top of the rung and is a Viking legend. While you have a Ricky Williams jersey, I have a Collingsworth jersey. (Or do I still have that?)
For the Final Four, who do I think will win? Huskies … Who do I want to win? The Owls. … Would I settle for the Canes or Aztecs? Yep …. I like this group. For all the ones saying the bluebloods should be there, I say get over it! After all, these are the only four teams that scored the most points in all their tournament games.
The Reds being a game out of first has already drawn a lot of attention. They are on pace to issue 1296 walks – a new record – blowing past 835 by the 49 Red Sox. Then again, Judge is aiming for 162!
Hopefully, Q accepts to the cake challenge!
FYI: Wrong months corrected
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Grant was that. four NFC titles and the face of the franchise even now. As for Williams, it’s not official since I don’t have the marijuana leaf on the sleeve . . .
UConn has entered the bluebloods discussion with their win. They now have more titles than any program over the last twenty-five years. But it was nice to see three schools that had never been there, get there!
Judge has slowed his pace now. He’s only going to hit 151 now.
She would be.
I hadn’t realized!
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FYI: The average American eats 1500 peanut butter & jelly sandwiches by the time they are 18 years old. – I will admit to eating a lot of PB & J in my youth, and I likely skewed this thing higher. It seemed like every time I turned around, someone was making me a PB & J.
Ragged Houseplant Drags Itself Over Expanse Of Living Room Floor In Search Of Water – I will admit to going around the house and watering all the plants because I couldn’t handle the guilt if this happened in our home.
I watched the video on the spinning cake and am still waiting for my vision to return to normal. Yes, some people have way too much time on their hands. Stop spinning the cake and eat it!
Bud Grant was one of the greatest coaches of all-time, and I love watching footage of that team playing outside, which is where all football should be played IMHO.
Maybe the Dolphins will sign Tom Brady on April 14th with it being Dolphins Day and all.
Phillies and Reds have identical records. Who thought that would happen this year?
😀⚾🧢
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Bruce,
Cheers to your long-time association with PB&J! Grant’s Vikes were tough … and they had to be with those elements. The team going from the old Met Stadium to the indoors was a shame … and I’m sure the fans at that time had mixed emotions.
Sorry to see that the spinning cake worked on your vision, but wow … that was creative. Being a game out and the Reds surprising the pundits, MLB has granted them permission for presale playoff tickets. Happy to know that a headline from The Onion fed into your guilt. Happy April.
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Bruce – that is a lot of Pb& J’s
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Which may explain why I haven’t had one in a couple of years lol.
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hahahah –
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That cake is ridiculous! You’re right–way too much time on someone’s calendar. To each his own, right? Happy April. So far the biggest April Fool’s Day is the Rockies record. Course they have plenty of time to rip people’s hearts and flame out.
Go Lady Tigers!
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Monica,
I’m amazed that someone even came up with the cake idea, let alone pull it off!. About your Rockies, a reminder that they won more games last year than my Reds – and the same is true so far this year!
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Normally I avoid those ‘reality’ shows like the plague but confess I do watch those cake championship programs. There’s something I really like about Duff Goldman with host Jesse Palmer, perhaps because they’re kind even with their criticism and 99% the competitors seems like decent folks instead of sketchy people out to gain advantage at the expense of others. I like friendly competition and marvel how they can create stunning cakes that rival any master painting in some cases.
The Rocks broke my heart too many times to get on board that smoke and mirror train, er…rather Rockies management. I stand with arms folded with skepticism and see how June and July unfold. What is it about these teams that have horrible records for years that tugs at our heartstrings?
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Cake contests have many enthusiastic followers – glad to hear you are all in.
The structure of MLB has passed its prime …. and it doesn’t seem to me they are willing to change.
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They have no incentive. It’s all about the bucks for the owners.
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Frank,
I hate to tell you but you are NOT a day late so, guess you April Fooled yourself 😉
March was a busy month, wasn’t it?
“Grim Reaper Gives Houseplant Little Hat To Take Mind Off Religious Mice.”
My mother never even made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! My kids didn’t get them either. I don’t even know if they like them!
That is a crazy cake! Dunno that I would have the patience to make it, to be honest 😉
Cleaning for a reason, eh? I suppose. Month-long Twit Awards – is that enough time to cover them all? I get to celebrate dolphins on my birthday. That’s pretty cool..
Off to have a pillow fight!
Have a great day, Frank!
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Dale,
Actually, I found a handful of mistakes that had to be corrected, so it was time well spent! I never thought about the battle between the Grim Reaper and religious mice. Thanks for opening a new world of thought.
Now PB&Js for your sons? Could the sandwich be an American thing that didn’t cross the border? That cake was crazy. I would have many tries it took to get it right!
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There were quite a few 😉.
No one’s knows all that Grim goes through!
While PB was invented in Canada, I don’t know about other families. I am sure it is a favourite sandwich of many. Just didn’t get it at home. No way my mother would have considered that a healthy option.
That cake is nuts!
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Weird little Ass hat drags scientists over a dangerous road.
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John,
Now that’s a combo!
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My head is spinning with what was done and what is yet to be done. As for my combo . . . Scientist freak out woman to take Grim Reaper out from between ass cheeks.
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Pam,
I like that the Grim Reaper is on the receiving end of your combo!
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It’s a shi*#ty job but someone has to do it.
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Frank – I did not eat too many Pb& J sandwiches – but do recall jelly pancakes at school and dang were they good
that col cake animation video makes me feel a little behind with my video making skills – hmmm
and glad to know these topics are April awareness — alcohol, autism, beavers, distracted driving, world habitats, Parkinson’s, and stress – I might have to post about one or two of these – thanks
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Yvette,
Although I’m never been PB&J crazy, I’ve had more than a few. I like Fluffernutters, too … but they aren’t celebrated this month. I wonder how much planning the baker did for that cake!
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😊☀️☀️☀️
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Dangerous mice freak out religious houseplant.
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Resa,
This is the second time mice have entered the picture. They are starting to worry me!
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We had this big mouse marauding the house last year. He’s been gone since last summer. I named him Rupert. He was a big mouse.
Jeep caught all the little ones.
Haven’t seen one since.
In 23 years of living here, other than Rupert & friends, the only few mice I ever saw had already met the fate of Jeep.
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