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The 42nd Annual NFL Draft Awards!

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If there was any doubt as to the extent of the NFL’s popularity, look no further than the NFL draft. People show up and they tune in to a sports related event without the sports as if it was the last Sunday of the season because America’s pastime is a full time job.

I can’t even tell you when or where they hold the draft for the other three major sports leagues and that’s because I seriously don’t care. The NFL draft is different, since it merges a host of favorite American things into one long weekend; big food, healthy drinks, hot debates and two of our most popular sports.

The NFL draft is graduation day for the college game’s finest, and even for us casual fans whose knowledge rarely goes beyond the cream of the bumper crop, it’s appointment television. I rely on football peeps like Prisco, Schefter, King, Bille and Kiper to supply me with the 411 so that I can provide an awards show after the fact.

So if you have a problem with it, blame them . . .

NFL Memes on Twitter: "The dolphin in the logo be like... https://t.co/476kskqxHE" / Twitter

The Missing Link Award: The Miami Dolphins didn’t have a first-round pick this year because they were found guilty of slipping into Sean Payton and Tom Brady’s DM’s while those guys were married to other teams. Alas, the flirtations didn’t score us Payton or Brady while costing us our 2023 first-rounder, which is SO Miami!

Who is Luke Van Ness' girlfriend, Frankie Kmet?

“You’re Looking At The Man” Award: Luke Van Ness is winning at this thing called football after getting picked by the Green Bay Packers with the #13 pick. He’s also winning at this thing called love, judging by his cheering section at the draft. He was surrounded by a bevy of babes who cheered him on when his name was called, and then we got a look at his girlfriend Frankie Kmet and all I gots to say is well done young man, respect! And here’s a tune just for you.

Jason Kelce chugs beer after Eagles pick Jalen Carter in NFL Draft

Beer Is Proof  That God Loves Us Award: Jason Kelce celebrated the Eagles selection of defensive tackle Jalen Carter by chugging a beer. The Philadelphia icon really doesn’t need a reason to follow the Ben Franklin blueprint for happiness, but I’m glad he found one. Football is way more fun with this guy around.

Alabama's Will Anderson gets tough love from 5 sisters: 'Those girls would have him crying' - al.com

This Family Needs It’s Own Show Award: If things work out the way many folks believe they will for the #3 pick Will Anderson, he’ll be sporting a gold jacket in about twenty years. But in the here and now, Netflix would be smart to sign up this fam to a reality show contract pronto. They’re beautiful and dynamic and the ladies showed up with their A+ game on draft night. Let’s get this show to production, people! I need my summer streaming crush!

Patrick Mahomes reacts to Tyree Wilson's selection by Raiders

Speaking Of Cool Threads Award: Tyree Wilson is going to the Raiders and there ain’t a more perfect marriage, stylistically speaking. He’s a freak of nature to be sure but his get down logic is what lands him here. THAT is how you do Vegas, kids.

Moment American football player pours MAYONNAISE into his cup of coffee and everyone is saying the same thing | The US Sun

No He Di’int Award: Will Levis was predicted to go high in the draft, and then got left in the green room on opening night. That’s okay because he found a very nice landing spot with Mike Vrabel in Tennessee and if he has any chip to go along with that cannon on his shoulder, he’ll do just fine. But the kid wins this particular award for . . are you sitting down? Please sit down . . . putting mayo in his coffee. In my unprofessional opinion, it’s why he dropped so hard, but that’s just me.

OL Peter Skoronski drafted 11th by the Tennessee Titans - WildcatReportTHAT’S How You Spend Draft Night Award: Peter Skoronski very well may be the reason Levis was ghosted in Round One because when the Titans found the stud O-lineman was still available with the 11th pick, they were almost legally obligated to pounce on him. The kid from Northwestern will be Will Levis’ bodyguard now, and he brings plenty of big and tough to the job. And by staying home and watching the draft from a pizza shop outside Chicago, he is Hall of Fame material in my book.

 

49 thoughts on “The 42nd Annual NFL Draft Awards!”

  1. Daaaawwwwwggg you read my mind on Tyree! Sorry, I’m stuck in draft lingo mode and everyone’s a dawg. But that suit was perfection. While he walked up, I literally texted my brother “Good pick. And great suit.”

    When I first heard Levis put mayo in his coffee, I thought it was like a drop… a dollop at most. Then I saw the video from the images you showed… he DOUSES it. It’s more mayo than coffee. If that’s not bad enough, he also eats bananas whole, with the peel. It’s like he’s tryna Tom Green his way to popularity and badly miscalculated.

    Appreciate the shoutout!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Right? I was impressed with his dress for success way of doing business. I understand that there were health concerns regarding his foot and on the field questions as to his timing off the snap, but his explosiveness prevailed. And the style, oh man, the style.

      Me too. I figured okay, it’s disgusting but if we’re talking a dollop that he immediately dissolves so as to kill the memory of such a coffee crime, fine, whatever. But no, it’s a mayo bomb. The HELL is going on with that?

      And I didn’t know about the whole banana thing. Jesus no. A Tom Green mention is always hilarious and welcomed.

      You know it my man!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. B

    I’m just thankful I had you coaching me on the what’s what of who’s who! They are all mysteries to me but now we’ll have a few names to be watching for during the coming season.

    That suit was something else, wasn’t it?

    I’m sorry but no. Mayo in coffee is no way in hell right. I mean, if he was thinking Bullet coffee, in which you add butter and figured this could be a replacement? I’d think welllll… But I don’t see no blender so… Still no. And now your buddy Travis adds that he eats bananas with the peel? He better be fucking good on the field, is all I can say.

    Will Anderson is so very well surrounded, isn’t he? Something tells me we need not ever worry about him being nasty to women.

    You make these events all the more interesting, tell you what. And Fats? Always a good choice!

    Q

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sorry, just feel like a lot of young kids and their parents are in for a journey they’re not quite prepared to handle. And all I see are the $$ betting apps that want to exploit them. Like it’s not bad enough the league will do that. 😬

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Mayo in their coffee? Hell, the Commish should ban the guy and anyone else who does that crap. I’m amazed that TV has bought into the draft so much. Besides, Mel Kiper needs a life. Who else can talk so much about every player in the draft and then some. Maybe he’s making shit up. After all, it’s not what you know, it’s how you deliver the information!

    Liked by 2 people

    • You understand Cincy! It’s only right, after all. We can’t have this kind of thing spreading. Next thing you know, guys will be putting M&M’s in their omelets. Where does it stop?

      I love Kiper! Hey, they only bring him out a few times a year, cut the guy some slack LOL
      And if Kiper is making shit up, he’s got a Congressional run in his future.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I keep an eye on the first round because I enjoy the “chess match” that breaks out when one team unexpectedly picks someone, or one team trades back or up. It’s funny how one team’s fate for the next few years can be made or sunk by what another team might do…or not do. I do wish all these young men the very best as they will find out fairly quickly the professional game is not the college game. Mayo in the coffee is absolutely a reason for falling down the draft board!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m with you on this one Bruce. The first round is where it’s at for me, after which I have no real interest outside of Miami or a big name falling.

      Mayo and coffee kid ALSO does an entire banana, peel and all. Who hurt him is my question.

      Liked by 1 person

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