Sorryless Letters: Yup, More Of This Shit!

There’s a reason why I ignore my blog inbox. Because entering that dark web of misbegotten is akin to dredging up a Satan worshipping pirate ship from the cold, murky depths. Nothing good comes of it. And since I don’t receive any assistance from FEMA in dealing with this man-made catastrophe, y’all get to be the beneficiaries.

You’re welcome!

Dear Sorryless,

I’m just wondering which burger you’re choosing if it’s between Five Guys and Shake Shack? And you can ONLY choose between those two, okay? Be a man! 


Mr. Portnoy, first off, love your videos. Well, at least the videos you were producing back when you were still hustling your empire into play. And congrats on that. Hmmm, if I absolutely HAD to choose, Imma go with La Cage in Boucherville . . .


Dear Mr. Trump. Wait, what . . you read?!

Dear Sorryless, 

I’d like your thoughts on our great national sport now that both Toronto and Edmonton have been dispensed from the playoffs. We had high hopes going into this postseason, but in the end Canadian hockey will mark the thirtieth anniversary of the Montreal Canadiens Stanley Cup series win over the Los Angeles Kings with another early trip to the golf course. 


Don Cherry

Dear Mr. Cherry,

First off, your letter is by far the kindest and most thoughtful I have read thus far this morning. What’s up with that? You feeling okay? But seriously, the state of Canadian hockey is still quite strong seeing as almost half the league is made up of players born in Canada. That far exceeds all other countries and it speaks to the pipeline that still runs strong. Canada has won the Cup in every season since ’93, in lineups across the league. Yes, that’s glass half full thinking. And that glass is filled with Creemore Ale.

Dear Sorryless,

My next door neighbor is really starting to piss me off. He mows his lawn at five o’clock in the morning and has parties till all hours of the night on weekends. Is homicide justifiable if your neighbor is a royal pain in the ass?

Asking for a friend

Dear Mr. Simpson,

Sorry to say, homicide is not justifiable under these circumstances. Understandable? Hell yes, but you’re still going to have to deal with the long arm of the law on the other side. And please be advised that Johnny Cochrane, F. Lee Bailey and Robert Kardashian are all dead.

Dear Sorryless,

What’s your favorite show right now? Also, give me one guilty pleasure and one take it or leave it show. 

All the best, fellow traveler

Dear American Streamer,

By far, my favorite show is The Diplomat. Imma be in mourning until season two drops. As for my guilty pleasure, that’s easy. Indian Matchmaking is so much fun. And a show that I can take more than leave would have to be White House Plumbers. 

Dear Mr. Sorryless,

Would you be so kind as to give me your early betting favorite to win the Oval Office in 2028. 

Your friends at Caesars Palace

Hail Caesar!

And a big thank you for bypassing what is destined to be a highly forgettable 2024 national election. For my money, Imma go with an individual who has exhibited erratic behavior in the past. A person whose knowledge of American history is limited to fast food and liquor. A person who believes you can drive to Europe from the states. And no, I don’t mean the guy who occupied the White House before Joe. I’m talking about Britney Spears. And I already have a winning slogan for her campaign.

Make America Late Again!






53 thoughts on “Sorryless Letters: Yup, More Of This Shit!

    • Yanno, Aaron and the Yankees are just trying to keep their heads above water in a very tough division. The Orioles are finally coming together after their perpetual rebuild. The Jays are likely to go on a run at any time. The Sox can never be totally dismissed and the Rays are always overachieving.

      I’m sure Aaron will make his way in there . . or maybe the other Aaron in New York. Both?

      Britney as President is no longer a ridiculous idea.


  1. As a way to tie together Don Cherry and favorite shows, I highly, highly recommend all seasons of Letterkenny and the currently one season of the spin-off, Shoresy.

    The lead character in both, Jared Keeso, played Don Cherry for TV, and in one episode of Letterkenny, they raise money for Don Cherry’s Pet Rescue.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You got a lot of VIP’s up in there but I’m surprised Farmiga didn’t write you back? Probably passed out when you got the letter and you can’t handle reading it twice 🙂 but DUDE The Diplomat WAS SO GOOD. Keri Russell rocks. I loved The Americans and now she’s rolling onto this. High five for good shows 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have to be careful with her since Mr. Vera Farmiga ain’t so cool with me including her in my posts.

      Right? And the chemistry between Russell and Sewell. Wow! Actually, there is so much great chemistry between the characters all the way around.


  3. B

    You’re smart to ignore that inbox…

    I’ve not had the “pleasure” of reading or watching Portnoy, however, your choice of burger? Gets my vote!

    He can read?

    Don Cherry must have softened since they let him go from CBC (a sad thing for all of us fans). And you’re right. All those Canadians are just playing for the wrong damn teams! Like your Creemore Ale half-full glass thinking!

    Hah! Sorry OJ – help, as you know it, is no longer available. However, I’m sure you’ll be able to find the scumbags ready to defend you should you be so stupid. Again.

    Diplomat was fabulous! How long we gotta wait for Season 2? They can’t leave us hanging like that forever!! Aparna!! White House Plumbers, you’re on your own as apparently we Canucks are not worthy. Oh, wait, never mind, it’s Beef-like in that it can come or go and make no nevermind…

    Why not Britney Spears? Honestly, can’t be worse than the offerings y’all got now!

    I can’t believe this song is a flashback!


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Uh huh!
    Where do I send my letter?
    MAAA – Make America America Again!!!!!
    I met Mr. Cherry, once! He was in an episode of something?
    My across the lane neighbour is ???
    He got a screen…I mean a BIG Screen in his back yard.
    “They” come and watch sports. I keep hearing crying. Most annoying!
    Love Ya!

    Liked by 1 person

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