Still Frank: March 2023

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Although this post is a day off, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in with some random thoughts about the ongoing month and the new one. Thanks to Marc for the space.

February delivered a Super Bowl champion, a re-retirement of a football legend, Grammy & BAFTA Awards, a devastating earthquake in Turkey & Syria, the transition into year two of Russia-Ukraine, the Chinese balloon saga, continuing storms in California, more George Santos, and politicians saying stupid shit.

February deaths included A Christmas Story mother, a Spanish fashion designer & perfumer, a composer/arranger of pop songs, a pioneer of audiobooks, the one wearing a bikini in One Million Years B.C., Detective Munch, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

I have no idea why my WP Spam folder contains so many comments regarding RVs, camping trailers, and campers. Don’t forget to check your Spam folder.

In case you missed it, here are a few February headline gems from The Onion:

• Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous to Nation’s Idiots
• Peninsula Wishes it was an Island so Bad
• Disappointed Man Reaches Bottom of Ice Cream Carton Right When Hitting His Stride
• Single Woman Feels Safer Keeping Loaded Baked Potato in Nightstand
• Man Admits Air Fryer that Burned Down House Did Pretty Good Job on Tater Tots

Report: More Italians Choosing Environmentally Friendly Option Of Being Baked Into Burial Lasagna (click for a great image)

Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

Did you know: To the Chinese, noodles are a symbol of long life?

FYI: If you are ever in Oaska, Japan, visit the Cupnoodles Museum.

I saw this touching story below earlier this week. CBS Mornings did a wonderful report about a homeless man in South California who receives surprising help from strangers.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations March has to offer. For a complete list of March celebrations, click here.

Monthly celebrations include deaf history, ideas, mirth, frozen food, noodles, peanuts, quinoa, optimism, and women.

A month to increase your awareness about adopting guinea pigs, colic, endometriosis, listening, colorectal cancer, and trisomy.

Weekly toasts include ghostwriters (1-7), procrastination (5-11), words (5-11_, brain awareness (13-19), chocolate (19-25), and act happy (20-26).

Day celebrations include wearing blue (3rd), sock monkeys (4th), day of the dude (6th), bagpipes (10th), potato chips (14th), buzzards (15th), lips (16th), corndogs & tequila (18th), goofing off (22nd), chocolate covered raisins (24th), and pianos (29th). For a complete list of March celebrations, click here.

March Moons: Full (7th), New (21st)

My Combo: Loaded baked potato admits it feels safer as hazardous tater tots

To take you into March, here’s an old song that I didn’t know until last month. Yesterday was Pig Day, so I hope you didn’t miss celebrating. Meanwhile, Happy Dr. Seuss Day! I’m out of here.

Still Frank: February 2023

Although this post is a day off, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in with some random thoughts about the ongoing month and the new one. Thanks to Marc for the space.

January was a frightening football event that occurred in my city followed by a remarkable recovery, a disruptive majority in the US House, Brazilians crashing their capitol about an election, a battering ram of storms hitting California, Harry & Meghan, crowning a national college football champion, big tech layoffs, classified documents, Memphis police, Australian Open tennis champions, determining Super Bowl participants, and politicians saying stupid shit.

January deaths included the youngest kid in Eight is Enough, a famed rock guitarist, a 90s supermodel, a Heisman winner, a legendary football official, The King’s daughter, a daredevil who was a son of a daredevil, La Lolla, one of CSNY, the world’s oldest known person, a renowned basketball commentator, a hockey legend, Laverne best friend (Shirley), and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

In case you missed it, here are a few January headline gems from The Onion

• Man who stopped dieting already seeing results
• Microbes growing in airpods really getting into Radiohead
• Wistful woman doesn’t want kids but still wants to name people
• Hospital tells public it can schedule CPR in 6 weeks
• Parents feel safer letting their kids drink and drive under their own roof
• Cautious climber cuts off arm to prevent it from getting pinned under fallen boulder

Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

As one who regularly checks my WP Spam folder, I wonder about AlanWraky, AnnaWraky, BooWraky, CarlWraky, DenWraky, EvaWraky, EyeWraky, JackWraky, JaneWraky, JasonWraky, JimWraky, JoeWraky, JonWraky, KiaWraky, KimWraky, LisaWraky, MarkWraky, MaryWraky, MiaWraky, NickWraky, PaulWraky, SamWraky, SueWraky, TedWraky, TeoWraky, UgoWrakly, WimWraky, and ZakWraky. Are they related? If so, that’s one high participation rate in a family business!

For those remembering my mail saga in October, I received this message from USPS this past Monday. The US Postal Service® received the search request you submitted and it’s being processed. Your package has not yet been recovered, but every effort is being made to locate your item(s). We apologize for any inconvenience and thank you for your patience.

Did you know: The Periodic Table contains 118 elements? Take a Periodic Table quiz here.

FYI: Did you hear about the woman riding around the world with her German shepherd?

Congratulations to the last inductees to the Songwriters Hall of Fame, so I toast the first Hispanic female inductee.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations February has to offer. For a complete list of February celebrations, click here.

Monthly celebrations for February include adopting a rescued rabbit, barley, fasting, Florida strawberries, library lovers, bird feeding, Black history, cherries, goat yoga, snack foods, sweet potatoes, and spunky old broads.

February is also a month to increase your awareness about the heart, Marfan’s Syndrome, low vision, and spay & neuter.

Weekly toasts in February include snow sculpting (1-5), love makes the world go round but laughter keeps us from getting dizzy (8-14), random acts of kindness (12-18), flirting (12-18), and saunas (19-25).

Day celebrations in February include bubble gum (3rd), Nutella & shower with a friend (5th), Canadian maple syrup (6th), Periodic Table (7th), pizza (9th), pork rinds (12th), popcorn (13th), my birthday (17th), drink wine (18th), Fat Tuesday (21st), curling (23rd), dance (24th), and cupcakes (27th). Unfortunately, this year you can’t celebrate Superman’s birthday on his birthday. For a complete list of January celebrations, click here.

February Moons: Full (5th), New (20th)

My Combo: Wistful woman cuts off arm of cautious man who stopped dieting to schedule Radiohead in hospital

To take you into February, enjoy this classic remake by Buddy Guy, fittingly featuring Jeff Beck. I’m out of here. Happy Crepe Day!

A Conversation in My Head

Frank here from Beach Walk Reflections, sharing a conversation I had while walking on the beach.Thanks, Marc.

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

(Me) Did you watch the Bengals-Ravens last night?

(Him) Yes. Crazy, but the Bengals didn’t deserve to win?

(Me) Why not?

(Him) The Ravens outplayed them.

(Me) Are you suggesting the NFL changes a rule?

(Him) What rule?

(Me) The team with the most points wins.

(Him) No, I’m just saying they didn’t deserve to win.

(Me) So, a team can get the most points but not win?

(Him) No, they got outplayed. Ravens had more yards rushing and passing, more first downs, and more time of possession.

(Me) So, the NFL should add an asterisk to the rule that the team with the most points wins only if they outplay the other team, or should teams get statistical bonus points like Fantasy Football?

(Him) No, I’m just saying the Ravens outplayed the Bengals.

(Me) So, did the Bengals deserve to win?

(Him) Ok, they got the most points to win the game even though the Ravens were the better team.

(Me) How could the Ravens be the better team when the Bengals had the better overall record and the Bengals beat them the week before?

(Him) The Ravens were the better team on Sunday, but the Bengals have no chance against Buffalo!

(me) So why play the game this Sunday if they have no chance?

(Him) They are going to play the game, but the Bengals have no chance?

(Me) Given the major injuries, chances for a win are slim. Besides, the Bills are damn good. But what if the Bengals get the most points?

(Him) They won’t, and they will be outplayed,

(Me) So, if it’s known the Bengals won’t get the most points, and the Bills will outplay them, I still don’t understand why they should play the game. It might snow in Buffalo!

(Him) Not playing the game would be stupid. Besides, snow doesn’t matter.

(Me) Does getting the most points matter?

(Him) You’re impossible!

(Me) Thank you, but with your rationale, the old, grumpy guy in Florida won the 2020 election.

(Him) He I did because everyone knows the election was rigged.

(Me) At least you’re consistent. Who Dey!

Being Frank: January 2023

Happy New Year Everyone!

With a month ending and another starting, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in with some random thoughts. But today is not a break because I’m pulling double duty, so I hope you stop by for the first beach walk of 2023. Thanks to Marc for the space.

December was a time for Kennedy Center Honors, China & a variety of COVID events, Peruvian president tried to dissolve Peru’s Congress, a prisoner exchange, more Nigerian violence, Russia-Ukraine, a nuclear fusion breakthrough, Orion’s return, FTX, a World Cup winner, Zelenskyy visits Washington, January 6th Committee report, a winter bomb cyclone, a grumpy old man in Florida who is a one-trick pony with NFTs complaining about stuff he brings upon himself, and politicians saying stupid shit.

December deaths included a baseball Hall of Famer and Ancient Mariner, a Cheers bar maiden, a high-profile college football coach, a notable sports journalist in his 40s, a popular dancing DJ, Cincinnati’s Mr. Perfect, an NFL HOF RB & Immaculate Receptionist, a women’s golf legend, a music producer of Philadelphia soul, a Brazilian soccer legend, a pioneering journalist, a former pope, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

Some people are making a big deal of Congressman-elect George Santos lying about his background. An opposing viewpoint: His perfect for the job because many elected to Congress are frequent liars.

Cheers to this mascot for this sneak attack on an unknowing reporter.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Do you remember my October encounter with the postal service (USPS)? The one when I mailed tracked mail that tracking showed as in-transit (undelivered) – so I followed the USPS process trying to locate the mailing that I eventually tagged as Lost – only to discover it was timely delivered but never scanned – so it wasn’t lost when I declared it as lost. The story continues with a fitting ending to 2022. Yesterday morning (31st Dec), I received the following from USPS,

“The US Postal Service® received the search request you submitted (1st Nov) and it’s being processed. Your package has not yet been recovered, but every effort is being made to locate your item(s).”

Perfect – but given the hassle I endured, I don’t have the heart to tell them the joke is on them.

In case you missed it, here are a few December headline gems from The Onion:

• Winter clothing drive urgently requests more giant foam fingers
• Christmas tree lot guy ready for annual 46-week vacation
• Amish horse has probably never used a cell phone
• Skeleton in sketchy doctor’s office assembled completely wrong
• Agent drops Meryl Streep after she fails to develop massive TikTok following
• Family scandalized after grandmother leaves hot, young caretaker her cherished cobbler recipe
• Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

Did you know: Found in the neck and shaped like a butterfly, the thyroid gland serves as the location of another set of glands – the parathyroids.

Wondering: Which governing body is more corrupt: International Olympic Committee (IOC) or Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA)?

FYI: Gingercello is a good drink to warm the throat.

If you didn’t see the Kennedy Center Honors, you missed this performance.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations January has to offer. For a complete list of January celebrations, click here.

Monthly celebrations for January include brain teasers, creativity, hot tea, polka music, soup, and introverts.

January is also a month to increase your awareness about bath safety, glaucoma, birth defects, cervical health, and thyroid gland.

Weekly toasts in January include Feel Great (1-7), Cuckoo Dancing (11-17), Idioms (15-21), and Clean Out Your Inbox (22-28).

Day celebrations in January include Mummers (1st), Cheese Lovers (2nd), Festival of Sleep (3rd), Whipped Cream (5th), Bubble Baths (8th), Learn Your Name in Morse Code (11th), Popcorn (19th), Cheesy Socks (21st), Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector (24th), Thomas Crapper (27th), and Bubble Wrap (30th). For a complete list of January celebrations, click here.

January Moons: Full 6th, New 21st

My Combo: Sketchy Meryl Streep scandalized hot, young Amish doctor’s foam fingers

Enjoy this Kenny Chesney because that time of the year for me is nearing. Have a good January everyone. I’m out of here. Happy New Year and Happy Ellis Island Day!

Still Perfectly Frank: Dec ’22

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in with some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

November delivered unrest in Iran & China, continuing Russia-Ukraine conflict, a time for a new World Series champion, new Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees, a new NHL scoring record for a player on one team, US midterm elections, the temporary ending of the relentless flood of campaign ads on TV, a record Powerball lottery drawing that I didn’t win, a dead guy winning an election in Pennsylvania (yep), discovering the oldest decipherable sentence on an ivory comb, violence at universities in Virginia and Idaho, Artemis rocket reaching the moon, a massive snowstorm in Buffalo (80 in/203 cm), a grumpy old man in Florida announcing, and politicians saying stupid shit.

November deaths included several rappers, international athletes & musicians, Top Gun‘s Sundown, Corporal LeBeau, R&R HOF inductee (group), an Academy Award & Grammy-winning sing-songwriter, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

I mentioned the World Series, a special congratulations to Astros manager Dusty Baker. With a solid playing career, many years as a coach and manager, and one of the game’s class acts, he won his first championship as a manager. Well done, Dusty!

November was a time when my wife went to Iceland with a few lady friends with hopes of seeing the Northern Lights. They had a great trip but didn’t see the lights. Meanwhile, I stayed home to do two things: whatever I want, whenever I want.

November was the month I posted about my escapade with the postal service. The story didn’t end there. Last Friday (25th Nov) I received notification that I now hold dual citizenship! Meanwhile, USPS reports my mail to the Italian Consulate is still lost.

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

In case you missed it, here are a few November headline gems from The Onion:

• Man Inspects Perimeter To Find Most Vulnerable Entry Point To Hamburger
• Skydiver With Malfunctioning Parachute Does One Last Scan For Trampoline
• Half-hearted Nod by Uber Driver Interpreted as Invitation to Discuss Eugenics
• Artemis Rocket Carrying Mannequins to Determine Viability of Department Stores on Moon
• High School Anatomy Book Shows Female Reproductive System Wearing Long Denim Skirt

Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

I find this to be funny, but others may not. Click if you dare.

Did you know pears are native to Asia and Europe, and there are over 3000 varieties found in many places?

Wondering: Which will happen first: a civil war in the US or a US war with China?

Do you remember Ralphie Parker in A Christmas Story? Did you know he was the Executive Director of Iron Man? See him now as Peter Billingsley’s Note to Self from CBS.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations December has to offer. Here is the complete list of December celebrations.

Monthly celebrations for December include bingo, pears, ties, pharmacists, buckwheat, and safe toys.

December is also a month to increase your awareness about AIDS and human rights.

Weekly toasts in December include cookie cutters (1-7) hand-washing awareness (4-10), Halcyon Days (14-28), Cookie Exchange (19-23), and It’s About Time (25-31)

Day celebrations in December include cookies (4th), bathtub parties (5th), toilet paper appreciation (8th), Kaleidoscopes (11th), Chocolate-Covered Anything (16th), Sangria (20th), Solstice and Orgasms (21st), Festivus (23rd), Bacon (30th), and Make Up Your Mind Day (31st). Here’s the complete list of celebrations for December.

December Moons: Full (Cold Moon, Long Nights Moon) 7th/8th Dec – New Moon 23rd Dec

Back in the day, the holiday season wasn’t official until I saw this commercial.

The Army-Navy football game annually demonstrates how the game is supposed to be played: hard, team-oriented, and not bringing attention to self. The tradition will be on December 10th

Beware: McRib’s Farewell Tour at McDonald’s is a setup for a Reunion Tour.

My Combo: Uber driver wearing long parachute skirt carrying invitation to vulnerable man with rocket to inspect mannequin’s reproductive system entry point (but I admit adding an apostrophe)

December is the month for what I say is the best 2 hours of network-televised entertainment. For me, the Kennedy Center Honors show is must-see television. Mark your calendars for Wednesday 28th December. This year’s honorees are George Clooney, Amy Grant, Gladys Knight, Tania Leon, and U2.

Enjoy this great Kennedy Center Honors performance from the past. Have a good December everyone. I’m out of here. Happy Antarctica Day!

Unbelievably, This is True

The facts in this story are real because I couldn’t make this stuff up on my best day or under the influence of alcohol. Marc is capable, but not me.

Several years ago, I decided to seek something that I’ve thought about for most of my life – dual citizenship in Italy. I scheduled my 1st Sept 2022 meeting at the Italian Consulate two years earlier. I drove over 4 hours to hear, “The person you need to see left early due to a personal emergency.” After waiting two years, I was stunned, but they took all my documents. Then came my encounter with the United States Postal Service (USPS).

Photo by Kelly on Pexels.com

(Fri 30th Sept) I mailed via Priority Mail additional documents the consulate requested a few days earlier.

(Sat 1st Oct) Following the tracking number, the mail arrived at a Detroit mail distribution center. The consulate should receive it Monday – Tuesday at the latest.

(3rd-6th Oct) The mail is still at the Detroit sorting center, but I can’t do anything because of a USPS timeframe rule for filing an inquiry.

(Friday 7th Oct) The hell with their timeframe! I talked to my local USPS post office, who provided a phone number that didn’t work, and then the postmaster didn’t return my call. I searched online and found a toll-free number for Customer Service. I got a helpful agent. He told me the process but said not to expect action until Tuesday or Wednesday because Monday (11th Oct) is a Federal holiday, which would be the day we depart for France.

I told him I was leaving the country for 2 1/2 weeks and I would be without a phone – so he wrote instructions for further communications with me must be by email.

(8th-12th Oct) I continued to see no change in tracking, and never received a report by email from Customer Service – which also means I have to move the issue to Consumer Affairs to continue the process – not USPS Customer Service – but I’m in France without phone service. Now that is government efficiency at its best!

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

(Thurs 13th Oct) I received an email from USPS. “To serve you better in the future, we would like your feedback about the service you received on case number 123456 opened on 10/07/2022.” Really? My response was a reminder they failed to inform me about anything and the mail was still undelivered.

(14th-27th Oct) Not only no response from USPS, I continued monitoring the tracking, which showed no change since 1st Oct. I can’t do anything because I cannot contact Consumer Affairs because I’m still in France.

(Friday 28th Oct) We arrived home at night. Tracking shows no change. Because it’s the weekend, I can’t do anything until Monday.

(Monday 31st Oct) I called USPS Consumer Affairs to initiate their process. (I was on hold for a long time.) Why Customer Service doesn’t automatically pass the problem to Consumer Affairs is beyond me. I explained the situation, and he filed the report and told me what would happen going forward, including hearing from Detroit by Wednesday.

(Tues, 1st Nov) Detroit acknowledged my inquiry by email. That’s a start!

About an hour later, an email from Detroit stated the mailing was lost, but it could be at the lost/damaged mail center in Atlanta. I (of course, not them) have to file an application/request online – which I did immediately.

Shortly after filling the lost mail claim, I received a voicemail from Detroit saying they found it – but it still has to be processed – so continue monitoring the tracking and call if there are any questions. She didn’t state her name but left a phone number.

I called several times – but no answer – not even a voicemail.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

(Wed 2nd Nov) The status has not changed, so I called – but nobody answered again – and again – and again – etc. Then I got lucky – a voice answered. She didn’t sound like the voicemail lady. Oh boy, a chance to repeat the story!

She listened and sounded helpful, but the person she needed to talk to was gone for the day. She would talk to them in the morning, then call me.

(Thur 3rd Nov) I worked that morning and received no phone call. I started calling in the afternoon – and calling again and again. Finally, someone answered – but a different person from the voicemail or yesterday’s talk.

She told me her name, and that she was a supervisor who is unhappy about my situation. She assured me she would personally work on it because she knows the mailing is important because it was going to the Italian Consulate. She said to expect a call from her the next day.

(Fri 4th Nov) No change in the tracking status, which also means it hasn’t been found or processed. The supervisor called to say she contacted the consulate, but they have not answered. Of course, not!

(Mon 7th Nov) – No status change and no phone call.

(Tues 8th Nov) The supervisor called with good news. The consulate received the documents on Monday 3rd October – when I thought they should. They had the documents the entire time, so none of this was necessary!

Weary of the information, I emailed the consulate asking for confirmation. To my surprise, I received a confirmation email within 2 hours. Holy crap! My journey through the postal abyss was unnecessary!

Bottom line: All this happened because USPS failed to scan my mail for tracking. Meanwhile, my patience and persistence prevailed. Yes – patience – I never was rattled.

(Mon 14th Nov) …. and yes, as shown above, my mail is still officially lost. Who you gonna call?

Perfectly Frank: November ’22

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

November 1st is the day after a US lottery of $1 billion, so you are probably hearing the news of one person in Ohio winning the big prize.

I just returned from 17 days in France. A tough task, but I met the challenge. It was great being away from the news and the flood of political ads in my area, so I don’t know much about what happened but I’m confident that politicians said some stupid shit.

A bit of research served as a reminder about Russia-Ukraine, Iranian civil unrest, a new home run record by one of Marc’s heroes, a crazy killing spree in Thailand, a court telling an American conspiracist to pay $1 billion in damages, Liz Truss losing to a head of lettuce, a crowd crush in Seoul, females becoming the majority in New Zealand’s parliament, and Massachusetts naming on official state dinosaur.

October deaths included a country music legend, the designer of the first mask-cage hockey goalie mask, a Golden Globe-Tony winner actress who starred on TV, MLB HOF inductee, an R&R pioneer and legend of Great Balls of Fire, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

In case you missed it, here are a few October headline gems from The Onion:

• School budget committee decides to eliminate 4th-grade entirely
• Scientists find dolphins only other mammal that jet ski for pleasure
• Man can’t remember what he ran into burning building for
• Prison warden sadistic but fair
• Sanitation worker digs around truck for source of weird smell
• Man suspecting opponent with all queens hustling him
• Weird bug eaten by weirder bug

Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

Wondering: Is incompetence growing?

Did you know normal bone marrow produces 10,000,000,000 red blood cells and 150,000,000 white blood cells every hour?

Our 17-days in France included Paris & Dijon on our own, cruising down the Saone and Rhone rivers tasting wine, and Nice on our own. There were many highlights, but the Carrières des Lumières in Les Baux-de-Provence delivered the biggest surprise. It’s a large cave left from a limestone stone quarry that has been transformed into a magnificent walk-around theater for digital displays on its large walls. We saw Venice (a short clip if interested), but the clip below is from an older show about Gaudi. FYI: For those who have seen the traveling immersions about Van Gogh, Monet, or others, as good as those shows are, they cannot compare to the cave experience!

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations on October’s plate. For a complete list of November celebrations, click here.

Monthly celebrations for November include picture books, banana pudding, family stories, pomegranates, memoir writing, sweet potatoes, and vegans.

November is also a month to increase your awareness about diabetes, epilepsy, family adoption, bone marrow, and gluten-free diets.

Weekly toasts in November include figs (1-7), Dear Santa letters (7-13), split pea soup (12-18), and better conversations (20-27).

Day celebrations in November include hockey masks (1), Cookie Monster’s birthday (2), pumpkin destruction (4), origami (11), Roc Your Mocs (15), homemade bread (17), Rocky & Bullwinkle (19), and Slinkies (27). Click here for a complete list.

For anyone wondering, I hope to return to posting my beach walk essays this weekend.

My Combo: Sadistic dolphins eliminate school sanitation worker hustling burning man

Because we were in the land of Van Gogh, I close this edition with a musical tribute to him accompanied by a similar illumination show in Paris. Have a good November everyone. I’m out of here, Happy Calzone Day!

Perfectly Frank: October ’22

Photo by Lucas Pezeta on Pexels.com

With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

September 2022 delivered fire, floods, earthquakes, the Mar-a-Lago documents legal saga, Blue Origin’s rocket failure, a huge tribute concert, Ukraine-Russia, the UK getting a new monarch and PM, 74th Emmy Awards, transporting immigrants, re-introducing cheetahs into India, a 700th homerun, a 61st homerun, more fake news, and politicians saying stupid shit.

September deaths included musicians, sports figures, a pioneer journalist, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

The world mourned and saluted Queen Elizabeth. A toast to a lady of honor, duty, dignity, respect, peace, class, and more. The funeral was riveting for me.

Tennis is moving one without two of its greats. First Serena Williams, now Roger Federer. Serena won 39 Grand Slam titles, while Federer only won 20. Interestingly, the Big 3 (Federer, Nadal, and Djokovic) won 63 of the last 77 Grand Slam titles. Now that’s dominance!

I started September at the Italian Consulate to begin my dual citizenship process. I drove 4 hours for an appointment I made 2 years ago to be told the person left early for a personal emergency. Oh well, at least they have my papers. Because I was not asked any questions nor had the chance to ask anything, I have no clue what’s next.

In September I learned my state (Ohio) is 4th (out of 50) in the number of reported Bigfoot sightings. I’m so proud.

In case you missed it, here are a few September headline gems from The Onion:

• Historic preservationists place Eiffel Tower inside jar of formaldehyde
• Bug crawling on ceiling must be possessed by a demon
• Pregnancy test probably only lying for attention
• Referees call for instant replay to admire great call
• Flamethrower set to mist

A blast from the past. Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

In September we watched the opening episode of Our Great National Parks on Netflix. The stunning images and videography will get your attention while “Our” in the title is very fitting. Plus, the narrator won an Emmy for Outstanding Narrator.

For some strange reason, this just came to me. Did you know liver cells are 6-sided?

I missed ushering in September because my wife and I traveled in August. This 2-minute video summarizes our wonderful trip, and the song has great lyrics!

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations on October’s plate. For a complete list of October celebrations, click here.

Monthly celebrations for October include apples, bats, black cats, caramel, class reunions, corn, feral hogs, Italian-American heritage, pizza, popcorn, right-brainers, squirrels, and toilet tank repair.

October is also a month to increase your awareness about blindness, breast cancer, bullying prevention, Celiac Disease, domestic violence, Down Syndrome, Dyslexia, global diversity, sarcasm, and the liver.

Weekly toasts include No Salt Week (3rd-10th), School Lunches (9th-14th), Meditation & Chemistry (15th-21st), Asexuality (25th-31st), and Magic (25th-31st)

Day celebrations include Tacos & Vodka (4th), Pierogies & Octopus (8th), Kick Butt (9th), Pasta (15th & 25th), Howl at the Moon (26th), Champagne (27th), Chocolate (28th), Candy Corn (30th), Halloween (31st), and many more. See for yourself.

My Combo: Historic preservationists admire lying demon bug inside pregnancy test

Have a good October everyone. I’m out of here, so enjoy a bit of Buddy Guy. Happy Pickle Day!

Both Sides

That’s a classic song by a classic artist. Joni Mitchell burst onto the music scene during my college days. Since then, her accolades include 10 Grammy Awards, induction into both the Rock & Roll and Songwriters halls of fame, a Kennedy Center honoree, and more – including being on Dale’s Mt. Rushmoor of Female Musicians (who sang and wrote their own songs).

“Both” is an interesting word – one that is on my ideas list for a future beach walk essay. Maybe I’ll draft it next winter at the beach – but I will leave those thoughts for another day. After all, I need the sand and surf to inspire my thoughts.

To me, Both Sides, Now is about perception – how we perceive something based on the situation. How something the same seems different. I think about it as two sides of a coin or two sides of a story.

Much of life is about both – then and now, past and present, before and after. Both sides are even about each of us looking back at something that happened to reflect. Maybe even realizing something totally different now than then – even both sides.

We can create a long list of events involving before-and-after thoughts, but that’s not exactly where I’m going. Anthony Mason of CBS News did this wonderful segment involving respect, will, grit, determination, appreciation, surprise, cheers and tears.

If you watched the story above, you understand my point. If you didn’t, watch below to see Joni Mitchell sing Both Sides, Now at the recent Newport Folk Festival. Joni – surrounded by friends – overcoming a stroke – and singing pretty darn good.

Still Perfectly Frank: 01 Aug 2022

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

July’s headlines included more mass shootings, a former Japanese PM assassinated, college football losing its mind, a new UK PM, political unrest in Sri Lanka, failures of the Uvalde police, more unnecessary Russian attacks in Ukraine, Wimbledon, The Open, more Congressional hearings about January 6th, Bennifer marriage, my fourth dose of Covid vaccine, more fake news, and politicians saying stupid shit.

We also remember those who departed us in July 2022: the last Band of Brothers, Sonny Corleone, an F-Troop star, Sopranos actor, composer of the James Bond theme, the first ex-wife of an ex-president, a mouth on Big Mouth, an actor of tough guys, a climate scientist pioneer, an original Star Trek lieutenant, an NBA legend, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

On 12th July, NASA released the first pictures from the James Webb Space Telescope. I’m in awe of images of deep space. Here’s the first collection.

July marked my closest encounter ever with a tornado. Not one, but two! An F2 tornado was 4.5 miles (7.2 km) away and an F1 tornado 2.3 miles (3.7 km) away. Both were way too close for comfort.

This didn’t happen in July, but I learned about it during July, so that’s good enough for me. An Ohio man (my state) was the first person ever diagnosed with a whistling scrotum. As Steven Cobert asked, “Did it forget the words?”

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

In case you missed it, here are a few July headline gems from The Onion:

• Extra-Mad Wife Forces Husband to Sleep on Ottoman
• Skeptical Doctor Asks Woman Flattened by Steamroller to Rate Pain
• Wings in Basket from 3 Chickens Who Were Friends
• Archeologists Discovered “Big Dog” Shirt Christ Wore to Sleep In
• Insurance Company Swears They Will Get the Next Round
• Scattered Deaths of Elderly Floridians Expected Throughout the Week

Here’s a blast from the past. Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your personal headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

For those desiring information about monkeypox, The Onion provides answers here.

Because we live in the age of “smart” products, readers should consider the Woodbridge B0990S Smart Toilet. It features a built-in bidet, motion-activated open-and-close lid, auto flushing, a heated seat, night light, and a multi-functional remote. Sorry to say, it doesn’t offer a wiping function. But if you have a spare $1200 and Marc won’t give you his address, you may want to consider it.

I always enjoy Steve Hartman’s positive stories on CBS News – but this one about Dexter the dog is amazing … and it delivers a message for everyone.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations on August’s plate. For a complete list of July celebrations, click here.

• Monthly celebrations for August include cowgirls, goat cheese, panini, crayon collection, and happiness happens.
• Weekly toasts include Psychic Week (1-5), Buttons (7-13), Weird Contests (14-20), Chef Appreciation (21-27), and Chuckwagon Races (27-9/4)
• Day celebrations include underwear (5th), root beer floats (6th), prosecco (13th), spumoni (21st), waffle irons (24th), go topless (28th), more herbs-less salt (29th), and many more. See for yourself.

Besides their on-the-field accomplishments, professional athletes tend to make the news after doing something stupid. Unfortunately, that tarnishes the many pro athletics who are good people and even better citizens. Click here for a local story of one of Cincinnati’s finest – Reds second baseman Jonathan India.

I knew I had to use this story when I first saw it. Crescencia Garcia is 102 years old, a Covid survivor, and a member of an all-Black Women unit during WWII – the 6888th – the Six Triple Eight – the only unit of its kind to serve in Europe. This past June, CBS Mornings interviewed her, which they aired a few weeks ago. See it for yourself.

My Combo: Skeptical Steamroller Swears Big Dog Flattened Extra-mad Chicken Wing

Here’s one of my favorite covers of a classic song from a great show I attended years ago. I’m out of here. Merry Loafmas!