Being Frank: January 2023

Happy New Year Everyone!

With a month ending and another starting, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in with some random thoughts. But today is not a break because I’m pulling double duty, so I hope you stop by for the first beach walk of 2023. Thanks to Marc for the space.

December was a time for Kennedy Center Honors, China & a variety of COVID events, Peruvian president tried to dissolve Peru’s Congress, a prisoner exchange, more Nigerian violence, Russia-Ukraine, a nuclear fusion breakthrough, Orion’s return, FTX, a World Cup winner, Zelenskyy visits Washington, January 6th Committee report, a winter bomb cyclone, a grumpy old man in Florida who is a one-trick pony with NFTs complaining about stuff he brings upon himself, and politicians saying stupid shit.

December deaths included a baseball Hall of Famer and Ancient Mariner, a Cheers bar maiden, a high-profile college football coach, a notable sports journalist in his 40s, a popular dancing DJ, Cincinnati’s Mr. Perfect, an NFL HOF RB & Immaculate Receptionist, a women’s golf legend, a music producer of Philadelphia soul, a Brazilian soccer legend, a pioneering journalist, a former pope, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

Some people are making a big deal of Congressman-elect George Santos lying about his background. An opposing viewpoint: His perfect for the job because many elected to Congress are frequent liars.

Cheers to this mascot for this sneak attack on an unknowing reporter.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Do you remember my October encounter with the postal service (USPS)? The one when I mailed tracked mail that tracking showed as in-transit (undelivered) – so I followed the USPS process trying to locate the mailing that I eventually tagged as Lost – only to discover it was timely delivered but never scanned – so it wasn’t lost when I declared it as lost. The story continues with a fitting ending to 2022. Yesterday morning (31st Dec), I received the following from USPS,

“The US Postal Service® received the search request you submitted (1st Nov) and it’s being processed. Your package has not yet been recovered, but every effort is being made to locate your item(s).”

Perfect – but given the hassle I endured, I don’t have the heart to tell them the joke is on them.

In case you missed it, here are a few December headline gems from The Onion:

• Winter clothing drive urgently requests more giant foam fingers
• Christmas tree lot guy ready for annual 46-week vacation
• Amish horse has probably never used a cell phone
• Skeleton in sketchy doctor’s office assembled completely wrong
• Agent drops Meryl Streep after she fails to develop massive TikTok following
• Family scandalized after grandmother leaves hot, young caretaker her cherished cobbler recipe
• Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

Did you know: Found in the neck and shaped like a butterfly, the thyroid gland serves as the location of another set of glands – the parathyroids.

Wondering: Which governing body is more corrupt: International Olympic Committee (IOC) or Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA)?

FYI: Gingercello is a good drink to warm the throat.

If you didn’t see the Kennedy Center Honors, you missed this performance.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations January has to offer. For a complete list of January celebrations, click here.

Monthly celebrations for January include brain teasers, creativity, hot tea, polka music, soup, and introverts.

January is also a month to increase your awareness about bath safety, glaucoma, birth defects, cervical health, and thyroid gland.

Weekly toasts in January include Feel Great (1-7), Cuckoo Dancing (11-17), Idioms (15-21), and Clean Out Your Inbox (22-28).

Day celebrations in January include Mummers (1st), Cheese Lovers (2nd), Festival of Sleep (3rd), Whipped Cream (5th), Bubble Baths (8th), Learn Your Name in Morse Code (11th), Popcorn (19th), Cheesy Socks (21st), Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector (24th), Thomas Crapper (27th), and Bubble Wrap (30th). For a complete list of January celebrations, click here.

January Moons: Full 6th, New 21st

My Combo: Sketchy Meryl Streep scandalized hot, young Amish doctor’s foam fingers

Enjoy this Kenny Chesney because that time of the year for me is nearing. Have a good January everyone. I’m out of here. Happy New Year and Happy Ellis Island Day!

Still Perfectly Frank: Dec ’22

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in with some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

November delivered unrest in Iran & China, continuing Russia-Ukraine conflict, a time for a new World Series champion, new Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees, a new NHL scoring record for a player on one team, US midterm elections, the temporary ending of the relentless flood of campaign ads on TV, a record Powerball lottery drawing that I didn’t win, a dead guy winning an election in Pennsylvania (yep), discovering the oldest decipherable sentence on an ivory comb, violence at universities in Virginia and Idaho, Artemis rocket reaching the moon, a massive snowstorm in Buffalo (80 in/203 cm), a grumpy old man in Florida announcing, and politicians saying stupid shit.

November deaths included several rappers, international athletes & musicians, Top Gun‘s Sundown, Corporal LeBeau, R&R HOF inductee (group), an Academy Award & Grammy-winning sing-songwriter, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

I mentioned the World Series, a special congratulations to Astros manager Dusty Baker. With a solid playing career, many years as a coach and manager, and one of the game’s class acts, he won his first championship as a manager. Well done, Dusty!

November was a time when my wife went to Iceland with a few lady friends with hopes of seeing the Northern Lights. They had a great trip but didn’t see the lights. Meanwhile, I stayed home to do two things: whatever I want, whenever I want.

November was the month I posted about my escapade with the postal service. The story didn’t end there. Last Friday (25th Nov) I received notification that I now hold dual citizenship! Meanwhile, USPS reports my mail to the Italian Consulate is still lost.

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

In case you missed it, here are a few November headline gems from The Onion:

• Man Inspects Perimeter To Find Most Vulnerable Entry Point To Hamburger
• Skydiver With Malfunctioning Parachute Does One Last Scan For Trampoline
• Half-hearted Nod by Uber Driver Interpreted as Invitation to Discuss Eugenics
• Artemis Rocket Carrying Mannequins to Determine Viability of Department Stores on Moon
• High School Anatomy Book Shows Female Reproductive System Wearing Long Denim Skirt

Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

I find this to be funny, but others may not. Click if you dare.

Did you know pears are native to Asia and Europe, and there are over 3000 varieties found in many places?

Wondering: Which will happen first: a civil war in the US or a US war with China?

Do you remember Ralphie Parker in A Christmas Story? Did you know he was the Executive Director of Iron Man? See him now as Peter Billingsley’s Note to Self from CBS.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations December has to offer. Here is the complete list of December celebrations.

Monthly celebrations for December include bingo, pears, ties, pharmacists, buckwheat, and safe toys.

December is also a month to increase your awareness about AIDS and human rights.

Weekly toasts in December include cookie cutters (1-7) hand-washing awareness (4-10), Halcyon Days (14-28), Cookie Exchange (19-23), and It’s About Time (25-31)

Day celebrations in December include cookies (4th), bathtub parties (5th), toilet paper appreciation (8th), Kaleidoscopes (11th), Chocolate-Covered Anything (16th), Sangria (20th), Solstice and Orgasms (21st), Festivus (23rd), Bacon (30th), and Make Up Your Mind Day (31st). Here’s the complete list of celebrations for December.

December Moons: Full (Cold Moon, Long Nights Moon) 7th/8th Dec – New Moon 23rd Dec

Back in the day, the holiday season wasn’t official until I saw this commercial.

The Army-Navy football game annually demonstrates how the game is supposed to be played: hard, team-oriented, and not bringing attention to self. The tradition will be on December 10th

Beware: McRib’s Farewell Tour at McDonald’s is a setup for a Reunion Tour.

My Combo: Uber driver wearing long parachute skirt carrying invitation to vulnerable man with rocket to inspect mannequin’s reproductive system entry point (but I admit adding an apostrophe)

December is the month for what I say is the best 2 hours of network-televised entertainment. For me, the Kennedy Center Honors show is must-see television. Mark your calendars for Wednesday 28th December. This year’s honorees are George Clooney, Amy Grant, Gladys Knight, Tania Leon, and U2.

Enjoy this great Kennedy Center Honors performance from the past. Have a good December everyone. I’m out of here. Happy Antarctica Day!