Horoscopes On A Budget!

 

Today’s Birthday, Gemini- Today is all about balance and taking chances. Sort of like that time you found yourself having sex in a kayak with your partner’s personal trainer. And as if that wasn’t stupid enough, you left your phone on record and then mistakenly sent a sex tape to your partner . . . and everyone else. Smooth. 

Anyways, today is gonna be different. Which is something you tell yourself after your tri-weekly hangover. Real growth can happen today, both in your personal and professional life. But really, any improvement to the train wreck you’re presiding over would have to be considered growth at this point. 

Be sure to exercise caution when it comes to financial decisions. I realize who I’m talking to since you’re the same person who went all Steve Austin with Global Crossing back in the day. And that little investment you made in a polar bear petting zoo? That was messy. Instead, you should focus on communication and understanding.

Just make sure to keep your phone off.