Perfectly Frank: July 2022

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

June was a month featuring televised hearings about the 6th January insurrection, more mass shootings in the US, Rafael Nadal’s 22nd grand slam title (tennis), The Boss played 2 songs with Coldplay, Thailand legalized Cannabis, LIV Golf lured players with money, annual Tony Award winners, a new US Open golf champ, a sinking stock market, attacks in Ethiopia, Turkey officially changed its name to Türkiye, someone caught the largest freshwater, a major earthquake in Afghanistan, the US Supreme Court overruling Roe v Wade, and politicians saying stupid shit.

We also remember those who departed us in June 2022: Bon Jovi’s bassist, a songwriter who was a member of a popular duet, a teen actor, a political columnist, a racial trailblazer in football, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

June delivered abnormally hot and humid temperatures to Cincinnati. Yuk! However, I was still able to continue my streak of not listening to or seeing one pitch of my beloved Cincinnati Reds. Even after being seated in a restaurant with a big screen within easy eyeshot.

In case you missed it, here are a few June headline gems from The Onion

• Man Wastes Another Gorgeous Day Being Dead
• World’s Great White Sharks Call for Immediate Release of all Caged Scuba Divers
• Left-Wing Group Too Disorganized for FBI to Infiltrate
• Employee Always Complaining about No Time Off Suddenly Upset about Getting Fired
• Visa Announces Cards Can Now Be Inserted, Swiped, Tapped, Bent, Clapped, Rolled, Shoved, Thrown, Dangled, Slid, Or Whacked

This meeting of two trailblazers is touching. One never knows what will happen when two female baseball announcers get together. Thanks, Steve Hartman!

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations on July’s plate. For a complete list of July celebrations, click here.

• Monthly celebrations for July include anti-boredom, culinary arts, watercolors, watermelon, blueberries, hot dogs, and ice cream
• Weekly toasts include beer pong (1-4), nude recreation (4-10), vodka (10-16), massage (17-23), and women in baseball (24-30)
• Day celebrations include I forgot day (2nd), kisses (6th), no bra (9th), be a dork (15th), take your poet to work day (20th), tequila (24th), take your houseplant for a walk (27th), milk chocolate (28th), lasagna (29th), and orgasms (31st)

Summer is a good time to take in local events. We’ve enjoyed the summer evening concerts featuring local musicians – therefore hope to continue that throughout the summer.

Even with the Congressional hearing about the insurrection, I believe Donald Trump has a 50% chance of winning the Republican nomination and a 55% chance of returning to the presidency, but Gov. DeSantis may be his nomination foil. Meanwhile, President Biden’s chance of reelection is only 20%.

I know trade policies have an impact, but why do politicians get the blame for companies outsourcing jobs outside the country while seemingly nobody blames CEOs who make the decision?

The US Constitution’s Second Amendment contains 27 words. Whereas most people focus on proclaiming the last 14 words, I believe a national dialogue about the first 13 words is a worthwhile discussion. What was the Framers’ intent? What did it mean then? How does that apply today?

Don’t forget to wish Happy Canada Day to the Canadians. I’m out of here.

Still Perfectly Frank: 1st March ’22

Another month is nearing an end, Imma asked me to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

Photo by mali maeder on Pexels.com

February was the time for more Omicron, ground, Congo, hogs, inflation, Joe Rogan & Spotify, Putin’s disregard for humanity, presidential documents, trucker blockades, avocados, Super Bowl LVI, and the Ides of February. Damn, the Bengals have now lost three Super Bowls by a total of 12 points. We also remember those that left us in February such as a Holocaust survivor, the “Ghostbusters” producer, first responders, and the lead singer of Procol Harum.

February gave us the Olympics and its thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, stories of dedication, overcoming, perseverance, and much of humanity’s goodness – plus a bunch of crap from the Russians. But I enjoy watching the skill and strategy of curling. I’ve curled before, so believe me, it’s damn hard.

Many years ago I asked, “Why isn’t there a competition of acrobatics going off a ski jump?” Because they are doing that now, it’s time for more questions. Why isn’t there a competition involving an inner tube? When will there be a competition involving a sled going down the ski jump?

Maybe this summarizes February … but them there varmints aren’t beavers.

March starts with Mardi Gras ending (Fat Tuesday) and ends with Bunsen Burner Day. Interestingly, both involve calories. March is a time for monthly celebrations of noodles, quinoa, peanuts, frozen foods, adopting a rescued guinea pig, and more. March is a month for weekly celebrations of owls, procrastination, chocolate, and more. March is the month for daily celebrations including the following: sock monkeys (5th), Oreo cookies (6th), Bagpipes (10th), Pi (14th), Buzzards return to Hinckley (15th), Swallows return to Capistrano (19th), and many more. For those interested in a long list of March celebrations, click here.

Baseball’s spring training was set to start. I have a challenge for MLB and the Player’s Union. Go ahead – sit out the entire damn year! No guts, no glory for you. (Thanks for the ending, Soup Nazi.)

Attendance at college football games has dropped seven years in a row to 1981 levels? Damn, someone needs the No-Shit Sherlock Award for Brilliance! Let’s see – expensive tickets, game time is “To Be Announced” until the week before (prohibiting planning), annual booster fees for season ticket holders, and many games are on TV or streaming. However, the rich get richer because college football is big business.

Hats off to Steve Hartman (CBS News) for his features focusing on good news – like this one!

I’m not a fan of former Vice President Mike Pence, but a tip of the cap to him for refuting an ex-president by saying he did not have the Constitutional power to overturn the election.

“Legitimate political discourse” is an interesting description of the events of January 6, 2021. Meanwhile, let’s tear, shred, and flush official documents down the toilet while complaining about Hillary Clinton’s emails. Lock her up! Lock her up!

Back in the day, President Reagan pressured Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. Today, Donald Trump praises Vladimir Putin as a genius and his move to declare two Ukrainian states independent as brilliant. Why didn’t President Reagan praise Russia for building a strong Berlin Wall? To John Dickerson (CBS News), thanks for the thought.

Speaking of Ukraine, here’s one from Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Co). “I pray for Ukraine, and I wish them the best. They have a great president right now ….. But we also have neighbors to the north who need freedom and need to be liberated, and we need that right here at home as well.”

Former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo blames President Biden for the situation in Ukraine. I vehemently disagree because knowledge people know it’s Obama’s fault.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so many censure declarations by a political party of their own as we are seeing these days. That’s just one more reason why I continue to say the two biggest problems in Washington are the Democrats and Republicans – and the wacky on each side are making it worse. Yes, AOC and her flock are like fingernails on a blackboard – they make my ears hurt!

While in Cincinnati endorsing author JD Vance for Senate, Rep. Margorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga) stated, “Vaccine mandates are the worst thing that has ever happened in America.” Yes MTG – worse than 9-11, Pearl Harbor, Oklahoma City bombings, the Great Depression, both World Wars, and our Civil War. Perhaps the people of her district who elected her are even more whacky than her.

Here’s more whacky! The mayor of Hudson (Ohio) spoke against ice fishing on a city park’s lake because, “And if you then allow ice fishing with shanties, then that leads to another problem. Prostitution.” He resigned – but I’m guessing because he’s now qualified for higher office.

A great American orator offers a great summary.

People love to complain about the weather forecast when it is off-target. But, I’m guessing more people trust their local weather personality about predicting the weather than epidemiologists and medical professionals about the pandemic.

As one final tribute to February, missing The Onion is missing a lot. After all, The Onion told us that Archeologists discover more old shit that sucks; Breast reduction surgeon freaks out after misplacing patient’s nipples; Teacher fired for breaking state’s Critical Race Theory laws after telling students she’s Black; and a 13-year-old drinking prodigy accepted to university.

Close the door to February and enjoy your March. I need a beach walk and a good last world. Click here for it. Toss in a good drink, time for a Bushwacker with a topper. Happy Pancake Day!