Still Perfectly Frank: 01 Aug 2022

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With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

July’s headlines included more mass shootings, a former Japanese PM assassinated, college football losing its mind, a new UK PM, political unrest in Sri Lanka, failures of the Uvalde police, more unnecessary Russian attacks in Ukraine, Wimbledon, The Open, more Congressional hearings about January 6th, Bennifer marriage, my fourth dose of Covid vaccine, more fake news, and politicians saying stupid shit.

We also remember those who departed us in July 2022: the last Band of Brothers, Sonny Corleone, an F-Troop star, Sopranos actor, composer of the James Bond theme, the first ex-wife of an ex-president, a mouth on Big Mouth, an actor of tough guys, a climate scientist pioneer, an original Star Trek lieutenant, an NBA legend, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

On 12th July, NASA released the first pictures from the James Webb Space Telescope. I’m in awe of images of deep space. Here’s the first collection.

July marked my closest encounter ever with a tornado. Not one, but two! An F2 tornado was 4.5 miles (7.2 km) away and an F1 tornado 2.3 miles (3.7 km) away. Both were way too close for comfort.

This didn’t happen in July, but I learned about it during July, so that’s good enough for me. An Ohio man (my state) was the first person ever diagnosed with a whistling scrotum. As Steven Cobert asked, “Did it forget the words?”

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In case you missed it, here are a few July headline gems from The Onion:

• Extra-Mad Wife Forces Husband to Sleep on Ottoman
• Skeptical Doctor Asks Woman Flattened by Steamroller to Rate Pain
• Wings in Basket from 3 Chickens Who Were Friends
• Archeologists Discovered “Big Dog” Shirt Christ Wore to Sleep In
• Insurance Company Swears They Will Get the Next Round
• Scattered Deaths of Elderly Floridians Expected Throughout the Week

Here’s a blast from the past. Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your personal headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

For those desiring information about monkeypox, The Onion provides answers here.

Because we live in the age of “smart” products, readers should consider the Woodbridge B0990S Smart Toilet. It features a built-in bidet, motion-activated open-and-close lid, auto flushing, a heated seat, night light, and a multi-functional remote. Sorry to say, it doesn’t offer a wiping function. But if you have a spare $1200 and Marc won’t give you his address, you may want to consider it.

I always enjoy Steve Hartman’s positive stories on CBS News – but this one about Dexter the dog is amazing … and it delivers a message for everyone.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations on August’s plate. For a complete list of July celebrations, click here.

• Monthly celebrations for August include cowgirls, goat cheese, panini, crayon collection, and happiness happens.
• Weekly toasts include Psychic Week (1-5), Buttons (7-13), Weird Contests (14-20), Chef Appreciation (21-27), and Chuckwagon Races (27-9/4)
• Day celebrations include underwear (5th), root beer floats (6th), prosecco (13th), spumoni (21st), waffle irons (24th), go topless (28th), more herbs-less salt (29th), and many more. See for yourself.

Besides their on-the-field accomplishments, professional athletes tend to make the news after doing something stupid. Unfortunately, that tarnishes the many pro athletics who are good people and even better citizens. Click here for a local story of one of Cincinnati’s finest – Reds second baseman Jonathan India.

I knew I had to use this story when I first saw it. Crescencia Garcia is 102 years old, a Covid survivor, and a member of an all-Black Women unit during WWII – the 6888th – the Six Triple Eight – the only unit of its kind to serve in Europe. This past June, CBS Mornings interviewed her, which they aired a few weeks ago. See it for yourself.

My Combo: Skeptical Steamroller Swears Big Dog Flattened Extra-mad Chicken Wing

Here’s one of my favorite covers of a classic song from a great show I attended years ago. I’m out of here. Merry Loafmas!