Perfectly Frank: October ’22

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With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

September 2022 delivered fire, floods, earthquakes, the Mar-a-Lago documents legal saga, Blue Origin’s rocket failure, a huge tribute concert, Ukraine-Russia, the UK getting a new monarch and PM, 74th Emmy Awards, transporting immigrants, re-introducing cheetahs into India, a 700th homerun, a 61st homerun, more fake news, and politicians saying stupid shit.

September deaths included musicians, sports figures, a pioneer journalist, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

The world mourned and saluted Queen Elizabeth. A toast to a lady of honor, duty, dignity, respect, peace, class, and more. The funeral was riveting for me.

Tennis is moving one without two of its greats. First Serena Williams, now Roger Federer. Serena won 39 Grand Slam titles, while Federer only won 20. Interestingly, the Big 3 (Federer, Nadal, and Djokovic) won 63 of the last 77 Grand Slam titles. Now that’s dominance!

I started September at the Italian Consulate to begin my dual citizenship process. I drove 4 hours for an appointment I made 2 years ago to be told the person left early for a personal emergency. Oh well, at least they have my papers. Because I was not asked any questions nor had the chance to ask anything, I have no clue what’s next.

In September I learned my state (Ohio) is 4th (out of 50) in the number of reported Bigfoot sightings. I’m so proud.

In case you missed it, here are a few September headline gems from The Onion:

  • Historic preservationists place Eiffel Tower inside jar of formaldehyde
  • Bug crawling on ceiling must be possessed by a demon
  • Pregnancy test probably only lying for attention
  • Referees call for instant replay to admire great call
  • Flamethrower set to mist

A blast from the past. Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

In September we watched the opening episode of Our Great National Parks on Netflix. The stunning images and videography will get your attention while “Our” in the title is very fitting. Plus, the narrator won an Emmy for Outstanding Narrator.

For some strange reason, this just came to me. Did you know liver cells are 6-sided?

I missed ushering in September because my wife and I traveled in August. This 2-minute video summarizes our wonderful trip, and the song has great lyrics!

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations on October’s plate. For a complete list of October celebrations, click here.

Monthly celebrations for October include apples, bats, black cats, caramel, class reunions, corn, feral hogs, Italian-American heritage, pizza, popcorn, right-brainers, squirrels, and toilet tank repair.

October is also a month to increase your awareness about blindness, breast cancer, bullying prevention, Celiac Disease, domestic violence, Down Syndrome, Dyslexia, global diversity, sarcasm, and the liver.

Weekly toasts include No Salt Week (3rd-10th), School Lunches (9th-14th), Meditation & Chemistry (15th-21st), Asexuality (25th-31st), and Magic (25th-31st)

Day celebrations include Tacos & Vodka (4th), Pierogies & Octopus (8th), Kick Butt (9th), Pasta (15th & 25th), Howl at the Moon (26th), Champagne (27th), Chocolate (28th), Candy Corn (30th), Halloween (31st), and many more. See for yourself.

My Combo: Historic preservationists admire lying demon bug inside pregnancy test

Have a good October everyone. I’m out of here, so enjoy a bit of Buddy Guy. Happy Pickle Day!

Still Perfectly Frank: 01 Aug 2022

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With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

July’s headlines included more mass shootings, a former Japanese PM assassinated, college football losing its mind, a new UK PM, political unrest in Sri Lanka, failures of the Uvalde police, more unnecessary Russian attacks in Ukraine, Wimbledon, The Open, more Congressional hearings about January 6th, Bennifer marriage, my fourth dose of Covid vaccine, more fake news, and politicians saying stupid shit.

We also remember those who departed us in July 2022: the last Band of Brothers, Sonny Corleone, an F-Troop star, Sopranos actor, composer of the James Bond theme, the first ex-wife of an ex-president, a mouth on Big Mouth, an actor of tough guys, a climate scientist pioneer, an original Star Trek lieutenant, an NBA legend, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

On 12th July, NASA released the first pictures from the James Webb Space Telescope. I’m in awe of images of deep space. Here’s the first collection.

July marked my closest encounter ever with a tornado. Not one, but two! An F2 tornado was 4.5 miles (7.2 km) away and an F1 tornado 2.3 miles (3.7 km) away. Both were way too close for comfort.

This didn’t happen in July, but I learned about it during July, so that’s good enough for me. An Ohio man (my state) was the first person ever diagnosed with a whistling scrotum. As Steven Cobert asked, “Did it forget the words?”

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

In case you missed it, here are a few July headline gems from The Onion:

  • Extra-Mad Wife Forces Husband to Sleep on Ottoman
  • Skeptical Doctor Asks Woman Flattened by Steamroller to Rate Pain
  • Wings in Basket from 3 Chickens Who Were Friends
  • Archeologists Discovered “Big Dog” Shirt Christ Wore to Sleep In
  • Insurance Company Swears They Will Get the Next Round
  • Scattered Deaths of Elderly Floridians Expected Throughout the Week

Here’s a blast from the past. Try the Combo Challenge. By using only the words in the above headlines, create your personal headline, then share it in your comment. My combo appears later in this post.

For those desiring information about monkeypox, The Onion provides answers here.

Because we live in the age of “smart” products, readers should consider the Woodbridge B0990S Smart Toilet. It features a built-in bidet, motion-activated open-and-close lid, auto flushing, a heated seat, night light, and a multi-functional remote. Sorry to say, it doesn’t offer a wiping function. But if you have a spare $1200 and Marc won’t give you his address, you may want to consider it.

I always enjoy Steve Hartman’s positive stories on CBS News – but this one about Dexter the dog is amazing … and it delivers a message for everyone.

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations on August’s plate. For a complete list of July celebrations, click here.

  • Monthly celebrations for August include cowgirls, goat cheese, panini, crayon collection, and happiness happens.
  • Weekly toasts include Psychic Week (1-5), Buttons (7-13), Weird Contests (14-20), Chef Appreciation (21-27), and Chuckwagon Races (27-9/4)
  • Day celebrations include underwear (5th), root beer floats (6th), prosecco (13th), spumoni (21st), waffle irons (24th), go topless (28th), more herbs-less salt (29th), and many more. See for yourself.

Besides their on-the-field accomplishments, professional athletes tend to make the news after doing something stupid. Unfortunately, that tarnishes the many pro athletics who are good people and even better citizens. Click here for a local story of one of Cincinnati’s finest – Reds second baseman Jonathan India.

I knew I had to use this story when I first saw it. Crescencia Garcia is 102 years old, a Covid survivor, and a member of an all-Black Women unit during WWII – the 6888th – the Six Triple Eight – the only unit of its kind to serve in Europe. This past June, CBS Mornings interviewed her, which they aired a few weeks ago. See it for yourself.

My Combo: Skeptical Steamroller Swears Big Dog Flattened Extra-mad Chicken Wing

Here’s one of my favorite covers of a classic song from a great show I attended years ago. I’m out of here. Merry Loafmas!

Perfectly Frank: July 2022

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space.

June was a month featuring televised hearings about the 6th January insurrection, more mass shootings in the US, Rafael Nadal’s 22nd grand slam title (tennis), The Boss played 2 songs with Coldplay, Thailand legalized Cannabis, LIV Golf lured players with money, annual Tony Award winners, a new US Open golf champ, a sinking stock market, attacks in Ethiopia, Turkey officially changed its name to Türkiye, someone caught the largest freshwater, a major earthquake in Afghanistan, the US Supreme Court overruling Roe v Wade, and politicians saying stupid shit.

We also remember those who departed us in June 2022: Bon Jovi’s bassist, a songwriter who was a member of a popular duet, a teen actor, a political columnist, a racial trailblazer in football, and people dying from gun violence, natural disasters, and war.

June delivered abnormally hot and humid temperatures to Cincinnati. Yuk! However, I was still able to continue my streak of not listening to or seeing one pitch of my beloved Cincinnati Reds. Even after being seated in a restaurant with a big screen within easy eyeshot.

In case you missed it, here are a few June headline gems from The Onion

  • Man Wastes Another Gorgeous Day Being Dead
  • World’s Great White Sharks Call for Immediate Release of all Caged Scuba Divers
  • Left-Wing Group Too Disorganized for FBI to Infiltrate
  • Employee Always Complaining about No Time Off Suddenly Upset about Getting Fired
  • Visa Announces Cards Can Now Be Inserted, Swiped, Tapped, Bent, Clapped, Rolled, Shoved, Thrown, Dangled, Slid, Or Whacked

This meeting of two trailblazers is touching. One never knows what will happen when two female baseball announcers get together. Thanks, Steve Hartman!

Because today starts a new month, it’s time for an overview of some of the celebrations on July’s plate. For a complete list of July celebrations, click here.

  • Monthly celebrations for July include anti-boredom, culinary arts, watercolors, watermelon, blueberries, hot dogs, and ice cream
  • Weekly toasts include beer pong (1-4), nude recreation (4-10), vodka (10-16), massage (17-23), and women in baseball (24-30)
  • Day celebrations include I forgot day (2nd), kisses (6th), no bra (9th), be a dork (15th), take your poet to work day (20th), tequila (24th), take your houseplant for a walk (27th), milk chocolate (28th), lasagna (29th), and orgasms (31st)

Summer is a good time to take in local events. We’ve enjoyed the summer evening concerts featuring local musicians – therefore hope to continue that throughout the summer.

Even with the Congressional hearing about the insurrection, I believe Donald Trump has a 50% chance of winning the Republican nomination and a 55% chance of returning to the presidency, but Gov. DeSantis may be his nomination foil. Meanwhile, President Biden’s chance of reelection is only 20%.

I know trade policies have an impact, but why do politicians get the blame for companies outsourcing jobs outside the country while seemingly nobody blames CEOs who make the decision?

The US Constitution’s Second Amendment contains 27 words. Whereas most people focus on proclaiming the last 14 words, I believe a national dialogue about the first 13 words is a worthwhile discussion. What was the Framers’ intent? What did it mean then? How does that apply today?

Don’t forget to wish Happy Canada Day to the Canadians. I’m out of here.

Still Perfectly Frank: 01 May ’22

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

With one month ending and another starting, Imma asked to take a break from Beach Walk Reflections and pitch in for some random thoughts. Thanks to Marc for the space. 

While spring rolled in during April in the northern hemisphere, the southern hemisphere embraced autumn. Meanwhile, April provided the confirmation of a new Supreme Court justice, Russia’s continued assault on Ukraine, the return of Coachella, a new Masters champion, a physical altercation at the Oscars, and another COVID variant on the loose. 

We also remember those who departed us in April 2022: George Costanza’s mother,  the longest-serving Republican senator (retired), the world’s oldest woman (119), a Tony and Emmy award winner, a star country singer, an MLB batting champ, 2 NHL Hall of Famers, an NFL Hall of Famer, and the quarterback known as The Mad Bomber. 

In case you missed it, here are a few April headline gems from The Onion: Airlines announce it is safe to fly indoors again, Mayonnaise label warns product for external use only, Man shopping for cheap sunglasses troubled by reviews calling sunglasses cheap, and K-Y introduces new drowsy nighttime lube. The Onion also provided an infographic of Putin’s inner circle.  

In April I did a beach walk about containers. In her comment, Eileen mentioned a George Carlin segment. I adore his brilliance! 

May is here, so it is time to celebrate. Monthly celebrations include drums, vinegar, barbeque, Mediterranean diet, Sweet Vidalia Onions, and Latino books. Weekly celebrations include craft beer (16-22), foul balls (16-21), root canal appreciation (1-7), and clitoris awareness (1-7). Daily festivities include paranormals (3rd), tubas (6th), Moscato (9th), limericks (12th), belly dancing (14th), taffy (23rd), and brisket (28th). For a complete list of monthly, weekly, and daily celebrations in May, check it out here.

Baseball season has started. For the first time in my personal history, I don’t give a shit. While Reds ownership wants to save money, I’m will one-up them by saving time and money. I proudly say I have not watched or listened to one pitch yet. Meanwhile, the team is on pace to fall short of the number of games won by the 1962 Mets. Now that’s pathetic!

On the football side of life, I’m still amazed how the NFL has turned the annual draft of college players into a marketing event.

I came close in a recent lottery drawing for over $400 million. After getting 18, I was just off my a few numbers: 10 instead of 12, 21 instead of 20, 36 instead of 39, 55 instead of 60, and 7 instead of 10. 

I love the great perspective of scientist Neils Degraff Tyson. When asked how far into space public trips go, he said think of the world globe in the school classroom. The trip goes about the thickness of two dimes.  

There is a movement in the US (at the state level) to ban something from being taught that isn’t taught … and led by the party proclaiming to be about less government in life. I find that interesting. 

French presidential candidate Marine Le Pen receiving over 40% of the vote is another sign that the world is in trouble. 

Ohio has a primary election in early May. Five Republicans are vying for the open senate seat. Interestingly, Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and the retiring senator endorsed different candidates. We’ve been seeing TV ads since last fall … and thankfully, this round will be over soon. 

Thank you, April … and cheers to starting the month of May. Enjoy the music and Happy Bubba Day!